upon our land • s. kalivoda

twelve

CONTINUATION 2 PART 2

content may be overwhelming to viewers.

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both of them had two lines.

my heart fell into my stomach. this wasn't supposed to happen, this could ruin my entire life. i couldn't keep this baby. i didn't notice tears were rolling down my face until one hit one of the tests.

i slowly walked out of the bathroom with the test in one hand and sniffled.

"simon?"

"y- what is it?" his eyes moved down to my right hand and i could tell by his face he knew what they were. "is that what i think it is...?"

i nod and show him the tests. "surprise." my voice cracks and more tears stream down my face, as i fall onto my knees. that's starting to become a habit. "i can't keep the baby." i shake my head.

simon came down to the floor and picked me up before setting me on the bed and cuddling me from behind while i cried (again) in his arms. after i had calmed down, i explained everything.

"the doctor had said it was a one-in-a-million chance i could get pregnant. he said i was fine to not use protection, and he would prescribe me the pill as soon as possible. i'm not on it yet because the shipment isn't in but i thought it would be fine. i'm sorry, si."

"you don't have anything to be sorry for. i love you, and whatever you want to do with the baby i'm gonna support you all the way." i stood up and wiped my face before going to the kitchen for the phonebook.

"i have to call and make an appointment as soon as possible. i don't want this kid." i dialed the number and put it on speaker.

"planned parenthood, this is donna."

"hi, donna. i'm making an appointment for fetus removal as soon as possible."

"of course. our next available is wednesday at 8:50 am. can you make it?"

"yes. yes, i can."

"great. we'll see you then!" i hang up and sigh.

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"where the fuck is my concealer?" i yell to myself.

"what are you so stressed about? the baby will be gone today."

"that's why I'm stressed! like, i don't want it but it's still something growing inside of me. i don't know."

"oh. uh, okay."

"what if it doesn't work? abortions are only 98% effective. the chances aren't zero just like they weren't whenever i got into this situation. god, how could i be so stupid? i wasn't even on the pill yet!"

"hey, hey, hey." he started as he grabbed my shoulders. "they said you couldn't get pregnant, it's not your fault. it's those dumbasses' fault for not being clear enough."

"yeah. yeah, okay. let's go."

"okay." he nodded once and we headed out to the car.

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"tatum cowan." i look over at simon before taking a deep breath and standing up. "hi, honey. follow me back this way." i follow her into a room and she sits me down.

"before you go in to actually have the abortion, we have a few questions first."

"yeah, of course."

"first. is this your decision? have you been coerced in any way?"

"this is my decision."

"during the surgery, you can choose to be numb and awake, or asleep. which one would you prefer?"

"asleep, please."

"good. final question, do you have someone to take you home?" she asks calmly, in a very soothing voice.

"yes, my boyfriend. he's out there waiting for me."

"okay, great! doing wonderful. so here's the step-by-step, no surprises. first, you'll change into your gown. then, a vaginal ultrasound. it doesn't hurt, but it's not fun. next, we'll draw some blood and hook you up to an iv. then you'll sit with other women who are waiting for surgery. next stop, the surgical suite. a mask will be placed on your face, and you'll be asleep in seconds."

i take a moment to breathe and take this all in. it was getting very real, very fast.

"the doctor has a wand that he'll insert inside you and remove the fetus. you'll be in and out in under ten minutes and you will wake up in the recovery room safe and sound. and that's it."

i nod. "okay. sounds like a plan." i smile.

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third-person pov

tatum stripped before slipping on the surgical gown and placing her clothes in a locker. she stood there for a few minutes, biting her nails and just thinking. taking all of this in. she didn't want the baby, but it was almost an emotional attachment. it could have been a child, her own. others probably wouldn't get the feeling if they had never been in the situation.

she wanted a baby, sure. but not so soon. she was too young. that was also why this was so hard for her. tatum would love to keep this baby and raise it with simon. but they didn't have enough money, and most definitely were not mentally stable enough to raise it by themselves. they were just kids.

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"when you feel the mask on your face, count backward from ten. out loud or in your head." she nods and closes her eyes. tatum felt the mask and started taking slow, deep breaths and counting. her head began to feel fuzzy, and she was out like a light.

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first person pov

my eyes fluttered open to bright light, and a nurse came over to hand me a bottle of juice. i look around and see other women, some asleep, and realize it was over. i wasn't pregnant anymore. i sigh and smile to myself and sip my juice.

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i had changed back into my clothes and begun to walk out of the back. i opened the door and see simon's head jolt up, and i smile at him.

"it's over with," i say excitedly. i wrap my arms around him and he squeezes me tightly, picking me up briefly.

"i already paid, let's go," he explains. as soon as he turns around, my smile drops. i am filled with relief that it's over, but my heart still ached. it felt like a part of me was missing.

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i open the fridge, grab a beer to celebrate, and hopefully take my mind off the ache.

"to not being a father!" simon yells with a smile, his beer in the air.

"to not having to give birth and rip my fucking vagina open!" i raise mine in the air as well.

"whoo!" we say in unison before clinking our glasses together and chugging our beer.

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i'm about three and a half beers in, laughing my ass off at simon twerking on the table.

"go simon! go simon! go simon!"

"yeah!"

"simon!" i gasp. "we should have celebratory sex. boom. like, with condoms. i don't want to get another abortion, it made me sad and cry."

"yes! mabe. you just had an abortion why would we make that have to happen again?"

"because we'll be using condoms, duh!" i down the rest of my beer and grab his hand, leading him to the bedroom.