Analogince Dads & Kid Patton AU

[3] - Virgil's (Not Recommended) Guide For How To Become A Dad - Part Two

Warnings: anxiety, sleep deprivation, crying/past crying more like, talks about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, (theres no death, obviously), virgil is scared

Summary: Who needs sleep? Virgil. Virgil does.

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The worst mistake Virgil had done during the whole four days that he had been a dad was to, the day after bringing his son home, googling what could kill a baby. In his defense he had wanted to know if there was something that wasn't obvious that he should avoid and he had wanted to calm the fear that the baby would just up and die in his sleep, which had kept him awake the entire first night.

He hadn't expected to be reading about something called Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, which was exactly what it sounded like.

It was safe to say that, after learning that his son could just up and die any moment, he hadn't slept. He had gotten practically no sleep the day before, and he wasn't sleeping this night either. How could he ever live with himself if he closed his eyes and when he opened them again his son had died? How any parent slept even a wink was beyond Virgil.

He had ranted (or, more like cried) to Logan and Roman about it, and they had tried to comfort him, but there wasn't much they could say to soothe his worries, because lately he had a lot of them.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, how to take care of a baby and be a decent parent, naming the baby, and wondering how long Roman and Logan would stand this new development in Virgil's life before deciding that enough was enough and dumping him... adding all that and much more to his normal worries and anxieties was too much for him to be able to relax.

Virgil rubbed his eyes, fighting to keep them open. He rested his chin on the edge of the crib where his son was sleeping. Roman and Logan had made sure to buy everything they could think of, even managing to get a hold of a crib and the small, firm, kind of mattress that babies should sleep on.

They had both been wonderful so far, not seeming angry or upset that he suddenly had a son, or even disappointed. But it was difficult to think that they wouldn't change their minds and decide that dating someone with a baby wasn't something they wanted.

Sure, they had been together for almost eight months, and Virgil wanted to spend the rest of his life with them, that he already knew. But they hadn't really talked about stuff like eventually having kids.

Now, this wasn't their kid, it was Virgil's and his alone, and he wouldn't be expecting either of his boyfriends to take care of his baby since it was not their responsibility, but he didn't think a relationship with them would last if they didn't want kids.

All he did know about their stance on kids was that Logan had once mentioned not liking kids that much, and that Roman came from a pretty big family.

Yeah, they had been absolutely wonderful so far, and they had paid for far more things for the baby than what Virgil had wanted them to, but Virgil couldn't help but to think that they would get tired of this pretty quick.

How fun could it be to date someone that had no time for actual dates and who would be bringing a baby or toddler along for the next few years? He was sure his boyfriends wouldn't think it was that fun for very long. The three of them enjoyed having some alone time now and then, but the baby that Virgil was stubbornly observing, despite his heavy eyelids, would make alone time scarce.

The baby was wrapped in a baby blanket with stars on it, which somewhat matched the pacifier which had a few stars on it, both which Virgil heavily suspected had been picked out by Logan. Some stuff was obvious. Things that were space or ocean related were Logan's doing. Anything Disney or sparkly was Roman, like the little Stitch onesie that he had gotten despite the fact that the baby would be too small for it for another few months.