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chapter one / bittersweet
RAVEN USED TO HATE FALLING ASLEEP AT NIGHT because of the nightmares she would have every time she closed her eyes. Every night was the same — It was like watching a show over and over for the plot to never change. The accident was something Raven never liked to talk about. She would get quiet when someone asked her about it. She thought it was her fault that it had happened. Thinking of all the other ways that scenario could've gone. Maybe if she went to her friend's house and never would've gotten in the car? Or maybe if she would've taken the bus like her mother asked her to, this wouldn't have happened.
Sometimes, things just happen for a reason.
For a while, people assumed she was fine. That she had gotten over it. And she did for a while. That was until the nightmares came back. They'd been filling her head. And they had been for a long time.
As a child experiencing that much trauma, it didn't hit her at first. With the incident on her mind every second and her controlling her abilities, there had to be a balance. She eventually could get a habit out of normal life. With the help of her sister, of course.
That was the thing, though. She didn't talk to almost anyone. Raven wasn't acting this way because she wanted to be smart or rude or anything like that — she just felt like she couldn't trust anyone else. When she met some of Lisa's other friends, it took some time for her to get comfortable around them. They didn't know her situation, so it wouldn't make sense to them. But when they all eventually became a group, it was sort of like the best thing that had ever happened to her.
She didn't seem like the quiet type when you first looked at her, and she wasn't. It was you have to get to know her first type of situation. Raven just wasn't too trusting around many people. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's better to keep to yourself than to get hurt.
Raven didn't do too well around a large crowd of people. The only ones you would mostly catch her in would be in the hallways, during lunch at school, or performing on the cheer team. Other than that, she would be closed off for the time being.
Speaking of sizeable crowds. As the group walked into Starcourt mall, Francis spotted the small ice cream shop called Scoop's Ahoy. "Hey isn't that where Steve works?" Alice looked where he pointed, smirking when she recognized. "Yep, sure is. Let's go see him," Raven groaned, staying still in her place, rolling her eyes before speaking, "I thought we were supposed to go watch the movie." Lisa turned around, grabbing her sister's hand before dragging her along. "Yes, we are. This is just a brief stop before we go," she continued.
When Raven and the group had finally stepped foot into the shop, Eden Brooke could be spotted standing at the counter talking to none other than Robin Buckley.
When Raven first laid her eyes on Robin, she wouldn't call it love at first sight. It was more of a crush than anything. Of course, she tried to brush it off — thinking it would go away in no time. Just a little silly crush, right?
What really set it off was when she saw the girl play in the band for the first time.
It was at a basketball game. Raven had been on the floor performing the dance routine as the band played the music. She took one peek over at the stands to see this brown-haired girl standing next to Francis. Since he was in the band and he had to at least know her somewhat, Raven felt the need to know her name.
After the game, as the boy drove her home, she begged and begged for him to tell her what the girl's name was. At first, he couldn't understand why Raven was so intent on knowing who she was. It wasn't a common occurrence for her to be so stern in knowing someone new. She had dated anyone in her whole two years of high school. So why would she be interested in her?
Of course, Francis was oblivious to her reasoning, so he just told her.
"Fran please, I won't ask for anything else, just please tell me her name!" she pleaded, making him sigh in annoyance.
"Okay, okay, her name is Robin Buckley. Happy now?" She gave him a wide smile, patting his shoulder as she grabbed her belongings before getting out of his car. "See, wasn't so hard was it?"
Since that night, the brown-haired girl was all Raven could think about
Raven may have come with a lot of secrets — but this one, no one knew about except for her and the little diary she kept in her drawer. She wasn't like the others. The ones who threw themselves all over the boys at school or in town. She didn't even really have a thing for boys at all. Raven Monroe had been into girls. Of course, being gay in 1984 and especially while living in Hawkins wasn't something to just parade around like it was nothing.
Raven couldn't help but feel a small pang of jealousy fill her senses. Of course, feeling this way over a girl you have a crush on but haven't even spoken at least one sentence to seems kind of childish. But Raven didn't see it that way. Just standing there watching how Eden had been staring at the girl and how into the conversation Robin seemed to be just didn't sit right. She tried to keep her emotions on a certain level, knowing what would happen if she let herself get out of control. So she just clenched her fists, keeping her feelings to herself.
"If it isn't Steve 'the hair' Harrington himself," Lisa smirked, planting her hands on the counter in front of him. "Yeah, don't wear it out. What are you guys doing here?" he asked.
"Well, we're supposed to go watch the new movie that just came out, but we saw you standing here and just couldn't resist," Nora spoke huskily. Of course, this gave Steve a little confidence, even if she was just playing with him. He's an egomaniac.
As if Raven couldn't get any more upset than she already was — she couldn't have turned her head quick enough. Eden had turned around leaving the store as she sent a small wave Robin's way, making her do the same.
She just couldn't understand how a brief interaction with someone other than her makes her feel so upset about someone she's never even talked to before?
LIZ'S NOTES! it's finally out! i'm so nervous pls tell me if you like it or not. give me feedback anything. Also happy pride month !
