Cosmo's oneshots / drabbles

TIASWL angst ... AGAIN???

a bit of self harm, (not like cutting or anything just like physical hurt) //

Everything felt so... Foggy. Walking felt like every step added a new weight. But Lightbulb had to... keep going. Right..?

Really she can't remember what she was running from. she can't... Whatever it was, it had to be bad. She couldn't stop and risk facing whatever it was... But it felt so hard to keep going. Despite this, she kept up a steady pace, stumbling through the woods, somehow not tripping on anything. A... gray wall. A door... Things were blurry. She could barely see through the cracks that had grown from several prior incidents. She could barely focus on what was ahead of her. Stepping out from behind a tree, she reached out to the door. It opened, with Paintbrush standing at the door...

Despite everything being so foggy, being so blurry, she saw Paintbrush perfectly. They had a frown on their face.

"You aren't welcome here." Their words echoed through her head. She stepped forward, desperately reaching for the door-- for Paintbrush, but the door slammed shut.

And she tripped. The pain of being shattered was oh so familiar. 

This was the third time Lightbulb had been stuck with this nightmare since she had started staying at Paintbrush's base.

This was the fifth time she had woken up crying... Though, this time, Paintbrush was at her side.

"Hey, are you okay?" They asked, their tone was soft, in contrast to the cold, terrifying tone they had used in her nightmare.

"I- I'm fine," She quickly wiped away her tears, though it wasn't really for much, as she still cried. Paintbrush moved to put a hand on her shoulder, wanting to reassure her, but she flinched, and moved away a bit.

"Sorry I just-- I need space..." She shut her eyes tight, this felt incredibly embarrassing. She hated feeling so vulnerable. She hated bringing the mood down. She was supposed to be happy. She was supposed to make other people happy.

So why did it feel like all she ever did was bring down the mood.

No matter how many times she wiped her face with her hands, the tears kept flowing. It was so... frustrating. She just couldn't stop crying. She let out a sound of frustration, her brows furrowing as she kept trying to stop her crying.

None of it was working. She had barely processed that she had gotten to the point of slamming her fists against her face in frustration before she felt her arms get pulled away suddenly, opening her eyes to see Paintbrush holding her wrists to stop her from doing this, their expression being... scared. Lightbulb barely noticed how heavily she was breathing.

"Please... I'm here for you." Paintbrush let out, their tone taking up a bit of desperation. Lightbulb could notice they were shaking too, now.

She couldn't say anything. The words were blocked in the back of her throat. All that did come out was a sob, as she finally fully broke down, as Paintbrush pulled her into a comforting hug, rubbing their hand comfortingly along her back as she cried into their shoulder.

Neither of them said a word after this. It was a while before they both eventually fell back into sleep, still in each others arms. 

It wasn't... under the best circumstances...

But it was safe. She was safe.