Talk First, Think Later

Presiding Officer

With Migz having to step out on official business later in the afternoon, it's Loren's time to sit atop the rostrum to preside over the Senate session today, as part of her responsibilities as Senate President Pro Tempore. 

After sorting through the reference of business, she called to suspend the session, leading to groups of senators either stepping out for a bit or huddled in their own little bubbles.

From her vantage point, there's the Seatmates bloc at the back, another group on the side, and the minority senators led by Leni Robredo near the front. The Senate's opposition bloc's known to be a very tight-knit group, especially with the arrival of the new batch of senators, but it's certainly a refreshing change of pace from the last Congress, regardless of some fundamental differences.

While the session is suspended, she made her way to the stack of papers on her table and absorbed herself in her paperwork. In the middle of signing a few reports, however, she heard Pia call out her name. "Loren? May ipapapirma lang sana ako."

"Ano yun, dear?", Loren called back.

Just after she said that, the entire session hall became silent and little huddles of senators shifted their gazes towards one another. One could hear a pin drop in the room for a few seconds.

Loren scanned the hall for anything funny going on until she realized the light on her mic was still on. Then, it dawned upon her. "Punyeta naman, oh!"

The urge to hide her face from the crowd became too strong, so she quickly got up the rostrum and went down to the main hall.

"Hi, Loren.", Leni greeted her in a singsong voice while fixing up her pink patadyong. "Sino si 'dear', ulit?"

The rest of the minority senators snickered right after.

Loren shifted uncomfortably on her spot and looked around her general area. "Dear? Hmm...who could that be?"

"Ay, tignan niyo si Senator Pia, oh.", Leni suddenly called out, pointing her finger at Pia's direction. "Pia, bakit ka nag-b-blush?"

Loren gazed at Pia to find her hiding her face with her iPad. "No, I'm not."

Leni gave her a knowing gaze. "Okay lang yan, Sen. Pia. Hindi lang naman ikaw and marupok dito."

The minority senators collapsed into fits of laughter, also joined by the Seatmates group on the other side.

"Kaya pala blooming si Tita Ganda, eh.", JV bellowed. "May 'dear' na siya!"

Loren's face turned fire-engine red as the laughs seem to get louder and louder in her head. The echoes became so unbearable, she swiftly turning her heel into the exit close to the rostrum.

As soon as she made her way out, she quickly headed for the senators-only restroom and splashed her face with some water. She stared on her reflection for quite a while until a soft voice called from behind. "Ate Loren? Is everything okay?"

Loren slowly turned around to find Risa right behind her. "Hay, salamat."

"Do you want to stay in my office for a bit?", Risa offered. "Tambay muna tayo doon para walang distractions."

"Kung may option na magpalamon sa lupa, I'll take that.", Loren replied. "If not, I guess your office it is."

They climbed up the elevator back to the 9th floor, where most of the senators' offices are, and headed for the door with the rainbow flag in front before making their way to Risa's working office.

The two of them then sank into the plush couch on the side.

"Loren, I'm really worried about you.", Risa said. "You've really not been yourself the past few weeks."

Loren gazed at the various pictures behind Risa's desk. "It's all ruined. Everything I've worked for the past two decades - all gone in a span of a month."

"Like what?"

Tears threatened to fall on Loren's face. "Now everyone knows I'm a massive fraud - one with no brain, no spine, and no guts. Even the things that made me 'me' are taken away from me."

Risa rubbed Loren's back and shushed her gently. "It's okay, nandito ako. Just keep talking if you want."

"It's always Leni this, Leni that, Leni, Leni, Leni. Why is she the one basking in the glory for the same things I've done and everyone loves her for it.", Loren ranted. "I'm sorry if it seems that I'm insulting your girlfriend but that's what I feel."

Risa was taken aback at Loren's words but decided to just let her continue.

"She's charming, intelligent, hindi iniwan ng pamilya..."

Risa opened her mouth, as if preparing for a witty comeback but decided against it upon seeing Loren in such a vulnerable state.

Loren shook her head while the tears continued to fall. "Buti pa kayo napanindigan niyo na. Do I love her? Yes. Do I know what kind of relationship I want with her? Not really."

"I know this may seem like I'm putting words in your mouth, but I think you do know what you truly want.", Risa suggested. "But something is clearly holding you back from moving forward."

"Like what?"

Risa shrugged. "I don't know. Only you can answer that."

The two of them just sat together in silence the rest of the time, with the subtle hum of the air conditioning unit being the only background noise. Their conversation only led to more questions than answers, but will she get answers in due time? Loren won't ever know.

Plus, the plan's already in motion. When she sets her mind on to something, there's no turning back.