Truly Me

|| Cassidy Miller ||

We sat down on the grass, our backs leaned against the house. The leaves of my huge tree created a perfect shadow. Even though the sun was low, it was still very hot this time of the year. People like me, who grew up in kingdom Leith, are used to the extreme warmth in this season. Tourists on the other hand mostly show up at night or early in the morning, when it's still bearable. I heard Mateo take a sip of his water and shot a quick glance at him. This stranger was sitting here, beside me. He knows where I live now. He knows my name. Thank God I wasn't so stupid to show him my face or tell him about my gift. I don't even know why I told him my name, I don't even know why I trusted him so much. Who is he, and how did I even end up in this situation? 

"So what's your favourite colour?" He suddenly asked. I frowned. "Why in God's name do you want to know that." I looked at him. "Never answer a question with a question, Missy." Mateo casually shot back. I groaned. "It's purple." Now he looked at me. "What is it now? I answered your question." A sigh escaped my lips. "Correction, you answered one of my questions, I have more. But I never thought of you as a purple kind of person." He said, studying me. I rolled my eyes. "What's your favourite colour then?" I took a sip of my water. "There we go, our friendship is improving. It's blue, deep blue." Mateo smirked. Our friendship. It sounded weird. Half an hour before this, he was a stranger, now he says we have a friendship. "Well, I expected you to be a blue person." I said. "I bet you did." He looked up at the still bright sky. His gaze was fixed on the clouds. Mateo was quiet for a few moments. "I thought you had more questions." I quickly said. I hated silence, I became paranoid if it was too quiet. It gave me anxiety to the point of hyperventilating. He looked at me, a small smile on his lips. "What do you think that cloud looks like?" He questioned, pointing at one. He wants me to look at a stupid cloud and guess what it looks like? This guy is seriously mental. I opened my mouth to protest, but he raised his hand. "Don't analyse it, Missy, it's just a game, what do you think it looks like?" He asked once again.

 I let out another sigh and look up, narrowing my eyes. I studied it for a while. "It looks like a rabbit." I stated. He laughed, the sound rich and deep. "That, is your idea of a rabbit?" He managed to get out. I bit the inner side of my cheek out of embarrassment. Surely one reason why I hate games, he makes me sound ridiculous. "I know very well what a rabbit looks like Sinclair, thank you very much." I shot back. "Ouch, my last name. You must really hate me." Mateo held a hand to his heart like I stabbed right through it. When I didn't answer he looked at me. "You don't have to be embarrassed Missy," I looked back at him, keeping my eyes cool. "I am not embarrassed." I expected him to look away and shrug, but instead, he held my gaze. "I know you are, don't try and hide it." He said it so casually, that I wanted to punch him in the face. I rolled my eyes. "You're a mind reader now?" I sighed. "Not exactly." He answered and stared up at the sky once more. "You're weird." I said. "And you like that." Mateo smirked. I suppressed a smile. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't." 

Even though I hated to admit it, I didn't unlike Mateo. He was easy-going, literally an open book. We sat down for 30 minutes and he talked to me like he knew me for years. He didn't make me feel uncomfortable like people normally would. He didn't make me doubt myself, or make me feel exposed. It felt easy, talking to him. It wasn't forced, or awkward. It went subtle, without thinking too much. How can I feel so comfortable around a stranger? I don't even know him, not all of him. Normally I avoid people, what has changed so suddenly with him? 

But even though he was different from others, my body screamed for me to run. To maybe knock him unconscious and leave him for the animals in the forest. I looked at him. "Why do you tell me so much?" I questioned, raising my brow. I needed to know his intention, I can't have him betraying me. What if he knows about my gift? What if he knows about my thieving? The queen of Leith wasn't easy with thievery. In fact, she wasn't easy with anything. She was feared, cruel, not caring a single bit about her subjects. She just watches them fight and kill each other for power, no one safe outside of the walls of the capital. The people in the capital lived with wealth, maybe even peace in their way. But we, in the poor villages, we need to survive, dodge every blow you get fired your way. "What do you mean?" Mateo frowned. 

"You tell me so much about yourself. Why?" My voice was cooler now. 
"Why wouldn't I?" 
"People who spill everything, either have nothing to lose or are planning some kind of master plan."
"You have a dark way of thinking Missy. Must make your life difficult." He shot back, his voice still warm but sharp. 

Mateo held my gaze once again, his very beautiful blue eyes were boring into mine. I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off. "I think, people who don't share anything are hurt and scared. Scared to get too close to someone, scared that one person will betray them," He pauses. "Not everyone is the same, Missy. If you let that armour of yours down, you might see." Suddenly I felt fragile. Those eyes kept staring at me, it felt like he stared me down like he was reading every little secret I ever held. 

I tore my eyes away, staring up. The sun was completely down by now, stars scattered across the sky as if a piece of the moon shattered and all the pieces scattered across the universe. He was trying to figure me out, and I was not too fond of it. And what was it with him guessing emotions? It made me frustrated and my fingers tingled.

 "And maybe I have nothing to lose," Mateo added quietly. I let out a small sigh. I knew how it felt, to be reminded of your problems and past. I wanted to apologise, but I couldn't get it over my lips.

So instead I rose from my spot, brushing off invisible dust. "You should go before it's getting too dark," I said, straightening my tight cuffs. "Right." Mateo nodded. I reached him my hand and he took it, pulling himself up. "I'll walk you to the end of the forest, after that I'm guessing you can find your house?" I grabbed our glasses and quickly walked inside to store them. Mateo followed me and leaned against the counter. I decided to ignore him and walked over to my bedroom. I grabbed my coat and pulled open a drawer. I grabbed my favourite dagger out of it and sheathed it against my inner thigh. I threw the cloak around my shoulders and walked to the kitchen once again. "Alright, let's go." I nodded. Mateo inclined his head and followed me outside. 

We walked into the forest. I heard his breathing right behind me, steady and calm. His feet made more sound than mine did, but he had a light step. Good, I didn't want to attract any kind of things this late. I kept my eyes on the path in front of us. Mateo didn't say a word, but I felt his eyes bore into my back. He better hate me, it will be for the best. I can't let him too close. I can't get affected.
Cause if I do, I'm scared I lose someone all over again.