Age 10 1/2(La'Niya POV)
Me: "Why me lord ? What did I ever do to deserve everything that I'm going through. I'm not even 11 yet and I'm crying myself to sleep. I need my auntie back. Why'd she have to leave me when I needed her most ? Lord , Jesus you and I both know that I'll do anything to get her back. My heart hurts so bad. People that I swore I could trust have betrayed me in ways that nobody could ever possibly imagine. I feel like the pain is too much, I can't do this . I can't ...."
I remember saying that to myself as I sat on the kitchen floor holding a knife to my wrist. I didn't want to deat with life anymore. Since my aunt had passed life was a living hell. I was raped by my older cousin's best friend and still kept that to myself. I didn't know who to tell, and I most definitely didn't know who to trust. I cried so much. My mom felt as though I needed help because I became anti-social and I wasn't eating. I nonchalantly rejected it . Everything wasn't perfectly fine but the last thing I needed was somebody who was going to sit and try giving me ways to forget everything . At this point in my life , I needed my aunt and because I didn't have her , I went through everything alone.
When my biological father left my mom , brother , and I alone .. My mom went and found someone else. His name was Steve. At first, Steve treated my brother and I like his own. We lived with him and two of his other kids , Shawn and Stephanie. Stephanie was 15 and Shawn was 17. Stephanie would always tell me to stay away from a certain man that came out our house. One of Steve's friends named Jerome. I never knew why but I listened to Stephanie. But there was one day, no one was home but Steve , Jerome , and I. I over heard them talking about how Jerome wasn't getting any at home. I had no idea what that exactly meant but I didn't really care. I was watching tv when everything got quiet. I turned to see Jerome and Steve staring at me. My stomach started turning and I started mentally praying.
Me: "Jesus, please don't let these men do anything to me in this house. Please send my mommy home so that I can be safe again."
Before I knew it , Steve had grabbed me and threw me in a room. I sat , confused once again. About 5 minutes later Jerome and Steve came into the room. Jerome pulled his pants down and sat on the bed. Steve just walked out and closed the door, ignoring my loud pleads for him to not leave me alone. I turned to see Jerome jacking himself off and staring at me.
Jerome: "Watchu waitin for ?"
Me: "My sister told me to stay away-"
Jerome: "Come on suck this dick babygirl .. he ready for you."
I backed away from him as much as possible. He just walked up to me and tried forcing himself in my mouth. I moved my head everywhere to get my face away from his dick. He slapped me and forced me to face his dick. He moaned slightly as he rubbed it along my face. I kept crying but wasnt dymb enough to open my mouth because I knew he would try sticking himself in again . He continued jacking himself off and rubbing his dick on my lips until we both heard my mom and Steve talking. Jerome quickly pushed me and fixed his clothes. He darted out of the room, leaving me on the floor. I layed alone in my puddle of tears while I listened to Jerome and Steve lie to my mom . Telling her that I had just fell asleep and Jerome put me in my bed.
Later that night , before I went to bed , Steve came to my room and told me that if I told anybody what happened .. him and alot of his friends would take me and do much worse things. His mini speech didn't go completely ignored but certain parts of it was simply background music to my thoughts. Why me ?...
