Zaphod Beeblebrox X Reader

Chapter 1

Ford Prefect bounded up to the bridge of the Heart of Gold.

"Trillian! Arthur!" He shouted. "It's working! The ship's reactivated!"
Trillian and Arthur were asleep on the floor.
"Come, you guys, we're going, we're off," he said, kicking them awake.

"Hi there guys!" Twittered the computer. "It's really great to be back with you again, I can tell you, and I just want to say that-"

"Shut up," said Ford, "and tell us where the hell we are."

"Frogstar World B, and man it's a dump," said Zaphod, running on to the bridge. "Hi, guys, you must be so amazingly glad to see me you can't even find words to tell me what a cool frood I am."

"What a what?" said Arthur blearily, picking himself up from the floor and not taking any of this in. Sadly before he could try to comprehend this, he passed out, again.

"I know how you feel," said Zaphod. "I'm so great even I get tongue tied talking to myself. Hey, it's good to see you Trillian, Ford, Monkeyman... Sorry, who is she?"

She, as in Y/N, was sitting upon a throne of crisp, fresh altarian dollars. Around her neck was an elegant chain of opal, actually there were many, they looked rather heavy all together. She was rocking a pair of aviators and an electric frizzy updo too. Y/N seemed to have materialised out of nowhere. Ford walked out to get some liquid from the Nutri-Matic Drinks Synthesiser and was too preoccupied to notice the random girl who just appeared in Zaphod's ship.

"Oh, hey Tricia" Y/N smouldered, "fancy meeting you here."

Trillian, who had just awoken, wasn't sure if she was still asleep. Hoping to the universe that she was in a dream, she woozily stumbled closer,
"Uhhh, Y-Y/N wh-?"

Trillian was ignored entirely, "Wholyyyyy photon... I-is that Zaphod Beeblebrox?" Y/N points and whispers to Trillian, who only sighs in disapointment. If this was a dream, it was a very horrible and evil dream, thought Trillian. Zaphod dusted off his clothes as he walked over with a whole lot of swagger. I mean... He is Zaphod zarkin' Beeblebrox baby!

"I'm the real thing sugar." Zaphod winked and went over to inspect the pile of worthless Altarian wealth Y/N rested upon. Trillian rolled her eyes.

"He's not all that Y/N. Zaphod's on the run from the government."

"I know, I worked on this ship... Well, the improbability drive."

Their faces dropped.
So did the money from Zaphod's hands.

"-I mean, I was only an intern! All I did was the testing. I think I'm entangled with the drive because of it. That's the most likely reason why I materialised here."
Y/N paused for a moment,
"I'm not going to arrest you or anything."

Everyone remained silent at Y/N's words.

"Legally I actually can't arrest you! And I know, I sorta worked with the government but honestly, I was about to steal the darn ship myself." Y/N sighed. "They weren't planning to do much good with it anyways..."

"... Like?" Trillian prompted.

"You know, corruption and stuff. The usual things governments like to do."

"Hmm, yeah that's totally evil."
Zaphod agreed. Y/N kicked back in her bed of paper money, a few odd notes flew here and there.

"How did you get here anyway, Y/N? Earth was destroyed."
You see, what Trillian didn't know was that Y/N was kidnapped, or abducted if you want to get technical. Some rich kid alien thought it'd be funny to freak some humans out. So one late night, as Y/N was on her way home, she began to float up into the sky and was too drunk to realise it was real. The alien that abducted her was thoroughly disappointed that she was quite okay with the kidnapping. She, in fact, found it a very fun experience in her drunken state.