Break the Man

Chapter 3

April , 1982
Curt POV

I woke up to the sun shining through the balcony door. The shadows from the two chairs we sat in the night before were beaming through our hotel room. When I fully got my thoughts together I noticed Roland's left arm was wrapped around me, his head was resting on my back and our legs were tangled together. It seemed like this was the first real sleep Roland had experienced in a while. Normally we recorded most of our stuff back home in Bath. This week our producer Chris wanted us to travel to Battersea to work with another producer named Ross. He had lots of notoriety for working with lots of other talented artists. We both were so excited to see what he could do for us, especially Roland. I know how he gets about his 'vision' for songs, and he was hopeful that Ross would be able to do his songs justice. I knew that we had a busy week ahead of us and that we were still both exhausted from the trip here so I decided to stay in bed with him, as to not wake him up. I tried to quietly turn my body so I would be facing him. He stirred a little bit but eventually fell back asleep, his head now buried in my chest. I reached up and settled my hand on his head, lightly stroking his hair. I was still in disbelief at the events that happened last night. I can't even remember when I started having feelings for Roland. I know that it was shortly after I met him, around the time we were 14 or so. I watched him fall in love, get his heart broken. Fall in love, get his heart broken. Over the course of the past 7 years or so I've seen this process repeat time and time again. But I finally got him. Here I am all these years later, holding him in my arms. Finally giving him the love and respect he deserved. I heard him yawn as he shifted a little, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Good morning, Curt." He said, exhaustion still obvious in his voice.

"Good morning, Ro." I said, smiling softly at him.

"So it wasn't a dream after all?" He said as he finally opened his eyes and looked at me. What I loved about us was that we were the same height. We were always able to quite literally see each other eye to eye. It gave us a connection that others were always jealous of. But now that some truths had finally come out, that connection was even more powerful.

"I guess it wasn't." I answered. I lifted the hair up off of his forehead and kissed him. He still seemed off. Even though it was frustrating, I knew that it was going to take some time to get through to him. The fact that he was even accepting love was a miracle. I could tell he was still thinking of her. I can always see it. It's in the way his eyes glass over and he doesn't focus. It's like he's in a completely different universe, one that's completely ruled by Amelia.

"Ro, what are you thinking about?" I asked him, furrowing my eyebrows in concern.

"I have to record my vocals for Memories Fade today." He said as he turned his body away from mine. He was now laying on his back with his arm over his eyes.

"I think it's gonna bring back a lot of unwanted memories." He continued. I lifted myself up on one arm, still facing him. I still remember when he had written this song. It was shortly after I had met him outside his house for practice about two years ago. Whenever he saw me and just broke down. That day at practice was strange. It was near the beginning of our first band Graduate. I talked him into bringing his guitar, but he didn't participate much. He sat in the back and wrote the entire time. Whenever our rehearsal was over he had an entire piece on his hands. He was able to take that extremely emotional experience and turn it into something beautiful. Something that would be turned into music today.

"I know it will. It's probably going to be very difficult and I'm so sorry. But you know I'm gonna be right there with you. When you're singing, I'll be just on the other side of the glass watching. You can stop anytime you need to. Just be patient with yourself as you're creating this piece because I know you and I know you'll want it to be perfect. Because you and everything you make is perfect, really." I admitted, blushing a little bit after. I saw a smirk rise on his face after I said that. He lifted his arm away from his eyes and looked at me. I still loved the way the rising sun was hitting his face, making his hazel eyes glow.

"Thank you." He said, with a serious tone in his voice. I smiled at him in return, just enjoying seeing every piece of him in front of me.

"You don't need to thank me, Ro. I speak the truth." I said.

——————

After we had our coffee, got our showers and put on some decent clothes for the day we were ready to head out the door for work. Well, almost. Roland had been ready much earlier than me, like always. I could see him in the bathroom mirror as I was trying to finish doing my hair. The top was easy, but the tail was a completely different story. I saw him get up off of the chair he was sitting in and come up behind me. He put his hands on my shoulders and lightly laughed at me.

"Do you need help, Curt?" He said, sarcastically. He took my braided rat tail in his hand, inspecting it and then gently letting it fall back down to my shoulders.

"No I just... I don't know. I think it looks stu-"

"Oh hush." He said, cutting me off. He made his way to the door frame of the bathroom.

"It looks cute. Adorable actually. It's perfect the way it is so quit messing with it and let's go." He said, smirking at me and pointing to the door of our room. I just blushed and kept repeating his lines 'adorable, actually.' in my head over and over again. Man, did he have a way to make me melt. He held the door open for me as I stepped into the hall.

"Oh shit... wait. I forgot something." He said, as he grabbed my shoulders. He pulled me back into the room and deeply kissed me, separating from my lips with a smirk.

"I knew I wouldn't be able to go the whole day without one of those." He said.

"I cannot believe you, Orzabal. You're going to be the death of me!"