Beautifully Insane

Chapter 4

I had another session with Dr. Drake today. I thought it might be about my crying last night, but then I realized it couldn't be. The door was steel, too thick to hear anything. When I had first gotten here I thought this was a stupid idea, but Dr. Drake explained it to me in my first session.
I walked to the session with a new nurse named Barry. He didn't say a word, he just stayed silent.
When we had gotten to Dr. Drake's door, he unlocked the door and shoved me inside.
I looked back at the door that had been slammed in my face. I was suddenly sad that he did that to me. I sighed and turned around.
I wish I hadn't turned around. I saw Mama and Papa standing there. They both had tears in there eyes.
"Dr. Drake? I'm hallucinating again." I said fearfully.
"No your not Lucy. They're really here."
With Mama crying, it reminded me of my first session with Dr. Drake. That session was probably the worst session I had every had. Papa wasn't there at the session, Mama was though.
My first session hadn't gone very well. I was fifteen and I was pretty feisty. I sat in Dr. Drake's office remember it.
"Why don't you tell me why you think you're here Lucy." Dr. Drake had asked.
"Ummm...Are you an idiot or something? Do I really have to tell you? You should know, can't you read?!" I had said sarcastically.
"Lucy listen to Dr. Drake." Mama had said quietly, not looking at my face.
"Look at me, please." I had sobbed.
"Lucy, be considerate please. You did something that really hurt your parents feelings."
Mama had given him wide eyes and had an enraged look on her face.
"She hurt our feelings?! She did more than that! She...she..." Mama had started to cry uncontrollably.
"Why don't you take Lucy's mother to her father in the lobby, please." Dr. Drake had asked the guard.
The guard took Mama out of the room and she followed gratefully. I sat there in silence, with tears running down my face. Mama had been grateful to leave me. That's wasn't supposed to happen.
"Dr. Drake?" I had said out of the blue.
"Yes Lucy?" He had asked in sad voice.
"Why are my prison doors steel? You can't hear a thing! If the patients need to help, you won't be able to hear them." I had asked.
Dr. Drake looked startled by my sudden outburst but he answered after a few seconds.
"It's so the patients aren't disturbed by each other. Some patients get unsettled a night. We have cameras in the room and we can hear your voice with it. So don't worry. If anything happened than we would know."
That wasn't really true though, I thought thinking of the memory. When Carrie was in my room it took the staff awhile to find us. Maybe the guards working the cameras are just idiots.
Dr. Drake had also said something else that wasn't truthful.
"Lucy? This isn't a prison." Dr. Drake had said.
"Oh yes it is." I had said sadly.
That has been true for six years.
"Lucy? Are you all right?" Dr. Drake said, interrupting my train of thought.
"Are you here to fill out paper work?" I asked directing my question at my parents. I looked at the ground while saying this.
"Lucy! Look at me when you're speaking to me!" Mama said in a cruel voice.
I stayed silent, about to cry.
"Lucy! Answer your mother when she's talking to you!" My father yelled the same tone as my mother.
"Who are these people?" I asked, looking at Dr. Drake.
"Don't you remember your parents, Lucy?" Dr. Drake asked.
"Of course! There was Mama and Papa, the nicest people I knew."
"I'll you a story about when Mama and Papa taught me to ride a bike.
I had been scared to ride a bike, but even more scared when Mama and Papa said they would help me. Elena had said that her parents had let go, even though they had said they would hold on the entire time. She still learned how to ride a bike when her parents did that.
I had asked Mama and Papa to keep holding on while I rode, until I was ready. They agreed and they didn't let go. I rode like that for an hour and then I asked if they could let go at one point. They happily agreed to that. I learned how to ride a bike without anyone lying to me. Then after Mama made a star shaped pancake for me because I was her star. Mama and Papa kept saying how well I did and I thought it was very nice." I said smiling at the memory, when Mama and Papa loved me.
"So, what?! You expect us to make a star shaped pancake for you whenever you do well in your sessions?! Or congratulate you?! After what you did to us?!" Mama yelled.
"No. I want you to love me! Dr. Drake says it's not my fault." I said in a small voice.
Mama spun to look at Dr. Drake, looking furious.
"You told her it wasn't her fault?! It was!" Mama shouted.
"I just wanted it to be us! I didn't want anybody else!" I said sobbing.
"That wasn't your chose!" Mama said starching my face.
I lifted my fingers to my face, when I looked at them I saw blood. Papa looked horrified at Mama. Mama looked a little horrified herself.
"I need you to escort Mrs. Sill and Mr. Sill out of here please."
"I also need a medic." Dr. Drake added coldly.
Dr. Drake gave both my parents a withering look.
"You may wait outside." He said, talking to my parents.
"I didn't mean to... I don't know why I did it...I..." Mama sputtered.
"You can't take us away from our daughter!" Papa shouted.
"Oh yes I can. You do realize your wife being abusive to Lucy was caught on tape." Dr. Drake said smugly.
"She's twenty-one! She's an adult! It's not child abuse!" Papa shouted, defending Mama.
"I'm aware, but the police don't take kindly to assault. especially someone who has mental problems."Dr. Drake said, glaring at my parents.
"Fine, we're leaving. I don't want to see that little devil anymore." Mama said angrily.
Both Mama and Papa stormed out of the room. When they left I finally let out my tears. I was so sad. Everybody hated me.
"Everyone hates me." I say, voicing what I was thinking.
"You did some bad things, but it isn't your fault. You have blood lust and we're going to work on that." Dr. Drake said sympathetically.
"Mama and Papa hate me because of what I did."
"Well, if you would talk about what you did and gave us your side of the story, we might be able to help you more."
"I hate remembering or talking about it!"
"Sometimes you have to deal with that though." Dr. Drake said.
"It ruined my life."
Dr. Drake didn't really have anything to say to that. I was one of the worst patients here and I knew it. Many patients came and left in about a year. I've been here for six years. I've been here the third longest.
The patient that's been here the second longest has been here for seven years. His name is Patrick Roberts. Patrick was a little intimidating. He was six feet tall, had black hair, brown eyes and looked like a drug dealer. Actually, I'm pretty sure he used to be one.
Then there's Amelia Drano. She has been here the longest, thirteen years. She was first imitated when she was twenty. She's thirty-three now. She doesn't look intimidating, in fact she looks really sweet! She has wavy blond hair, big blue eyes, a slight figure, she looked about five,five and she was a musician. She was the worst patient here though.
She had murdered almost everyone at one of her concerts. Every person she killed, she did it with a musical instrument. When authorities had gotten there a lot of the dead were decapitated, had their eyes gauged out or there was an indent in their head where the instruments hit. I knew this because I had done a report about it for school.
The teacher found my report so worrying she called my parents for a meeting. My parents brushed aside my teacher's concern because they were proud I got an A+. They said I was just trying to get high marks in school and then they asked if the teacher had a problem with his students trying. He has sputtered no and that was the end of that. My parents probably regretted not listening to that teacher.
"Lucy? Why don't you let the paramedic clean you up." Dr. Drake asked, he's voice hard remembering what Mama did.
I let the paramedic clean me up no problem. After he was done it didn't physically hurt anymore, but it hurt emotionally. When the paramedic left, Dr. Drake spoke again.
"You did very with the bloodlust, Lucy! You didn't have any urges at all!" Dr. Drake said proudly.
"Well... It's my blood. Why would I have urges for my own bloo..." I said trailing off.
I had never thought of cutting myself for blood! I was a stupid idiot! I had my own blood this whole time.
"I'm getting tired Dr. Drake. Could I go back to my room?" I asked hopefully.
"Yes, of course." Dr. Drake said unsettled.
He called for the guard to take me back to me room. The guard nodded stiffly. Dr. Drake whispered in he's ear before he left though, thinking I couldn't hear him.
"Keep a closer eye on her."