Beautifully Insane

Chapter 6

A nurse came running into my room with a sedate. I tried to tell her it was just a dream but she didn't listen. She just stuck the needle into my arm and held me down on the bed. My eyes slowly closed and I could've sworn she whispered something to me.
"You can't change."
I final woke up after twelve hours. I sat up and groaned. Why was this also happening to me? I mean I had screamed once in fear that's it, but when it's an asylum they don't really listen to the patients. There had been to many incidents with the other patients.
For example, Hannah Grep. She had been in love with one of the nurses, Sam Evett. He was a young nurse still learning the rules and he was every patients favourite nurse. He was so laid back and lenient with most things. He wasn't my favourite nurse though. I knew he was too laid back and lenient. I tried to avoid him.
Hannah was the complete opposite, she threw her self at Sam. She was an ex-model, so Sam loved it. A beautiful girl flirting with you, what guy wouldn't want that? Fortunately, Sam knew when it got too far.
He had a talk with Hannah, after she had tried to kiss him. The one mistake he made was having the talk alone, in her room.
Hannah was heartbroken and she was set on revenge. The patients that came before me were way more brilliant than the patients now. Hannah was an exception to that though, few were.
Hannah conceived a plan. She told everyone that Sam raped her and hit her while they were alone. Now Hannah was brilliant in many aspects but in that case she was an idiot.
She forgot one crucial detail. There were cameras in her room. So the staff checked the cameras and realized she had lied. Hannah was sent to another asylum after that. So the staff had a pretty good reason not to trust us patients.
I stood up, but I instantly fell. I guess the sedates hadn't worn off yet. I sat there for about five minutes, waiting for my head to clear away the murkiness.
I tried standing again and I was fine. I stared at the camera intensely.
"Dr. Drake... I'm ready to get help." I said grimly.
Dr. Drake walked into my room, a minute later. He looked very serious and professional. He looked at me intensely.
"What changed your mind?" He asked.
"I had a nightmare about my true self."
"Alright why don't we take this to my office?"
"Alright."
Dr. Drake lead me to his office and closed the door. He gestured for me to take a seat. I shivered at the memory of my dream. If Dr. Drake noticed my shiver, he didn't say anything.
"Alright Lucy, why don't you tell me about this dream?"
"Well... it was a normal day. I was going here for a session with you and you started to yell at me." I said.
"What did I yell at you for? Dr. Drake interrupted.
"Because I was saying that I was insane and you got mad at me for calling you dad sarcastically."
Dr. Drake's face hardened at the word dad. I looked confused, but then I got it. His wife divorced him and took his kids.
"Is there something you'd like to say?"
"Ummmm...no. It would hurt you to hear it mentioned."
Dr. Drake's face lit up with pure joy.
"Lucy! That was wonderful!"
"What was?" I asked a little weirded out.
"You cared about my feelings."
"So?" I asked confused.
"So, this is progress!" He said with a huge grin on his face.
"Tell me about the rest of your dream."
"You started raping me after because you wanted to hurt me." Dr. Drake looked aghast at that.
"Lucy, you aren't afraid I'm going to do that, are you?"
"Of course not. It was just a dream." I said reassuring him.
"After you did....the thing, you asked me for an apology. I didn't know what you meant, but then you turned into Sally."
I didn't need to explain who Sally was. Dr. Drake had already heard that story. So I continued with my dream, while Dr. Drake took notes.
"I remember what I did to her and then I apologized to her. She got angry and turned into a horrible creature. Then Hazel came and then me, but it wasn't me. It was the bad me. The bad me showed me what my heart looked like and it was pure black. Then the bad me killed me." I said.
"Are you alright, Lucy?"
"No. I don't want to be a bad person anymore."
"Alright, we can fix that."
Dr. Drake walked to his desk and took out a folder with my name on it.
"I collected a few things for our sessions."
He pulled out a photograph with blood all over a girl holding a knife. I cringed and looked away, remembering my dream and how gross the blood looked.
"Please put it away. That's really gross." I said slightly green.
Dr. Drake pulled a few more photos out and I had the same reaction to each picture. Dr. Drake looked more pleased each time. He pulled out a real vile of blood, just a small one.
"Ewwwww!" I shrieked.
"It's alright it's fake blood." He said with a poorly hid grin.
"Dr. Drake could you bring Hazel here?" I asked.
"Well....ummmm...why?" Dr. Drake asked confused.
"I want to apologize to her." I said with a deep breath.
"Oh well, she's here right now actually."
Dr. Drake pressed a call button and a staff member came and Dr. Drake asked if they could get Hazel.
A few minutes later, Hazel came in.
"You wanted to see...me." Hazel said looking at me with wide eyes.
"Oh my god." I whispered.
Hazel's hands were dead. They were lifeless at her side. I had known this but it just seemed so real looking at it.
"Hazel I'm so sorry. I know you probably won't ever forgive me but I just want you to know that I will carry what I did to you forever on my shoulders."
Hazel looked at Dr. Drake in disbelief. He grinned and she grinned back.
"Honey, I forgive you. That wasn't you, that was your demon. Everyone has one but most can control there's well. Everyone here has difficulty with that but your learning to control it.I'm proud of you." Hazel said and she came over to hug me.
"Thank you." I said sobbing.
Hazel let go.
"When you learn to keep your demon at bay, you are going to feel so much grief but it will be okay." She said smiling and then she left.
"I still feel terrible."
"I know Lucy. That will continue but it will be okay, just like Hazel said." Dr. Drake said encouragingly.
"This isn't even the hardest thing I have to do."
"What do you mean, Lucy?"
"I have to apologize to my parents. They hate me." I said sadly.
"Lucy..."
"Don't try to sugar coat it. What I did was awful." I said.
"They will learn to forgive." Dr. Drake said firmly.
"Dr. Drake don't you understand? What I did was the worst thing a person could do." I said, shame filling my voice.
"But, Lucy..."
"You know what I did. Tell me that you wouldn't hate me if you were my parent."
Dr. Drake stayed silent.
"That's what I thought."
"Lucy, they have to forgive you. Your their only child." Dr. Drake said losing faith.
"Exactly." I said grimly.
"What do you mean exactly?" Dr. Drake asked with confusion.
"Thanks to me it's only me." I said.
"I killed my unborn little brother."