You make my heart stop- Heartstopper Nick & Charlie

As It Was

TW: Slight mentions of Charlie's mental health, going to clinic and mentions of mild panic attacks.

There's not enough Nick angst stories, so here's one.

Nick's POV

Charlie has been weird lately. His friends have been trying to invite him out a few times and he always refused. I was shocked each time he declined, but I did notice him glancing at me every time he did. Was he ashamed to go out with me? Did he want to go alone but felt weird telling me that? Did his friends not like me?

That last thought haunted me for a while now.

'Nick?' asked Charlie as he nudged me gently

'Yeah?' I asked still a little out of it

'I asked if you know what film we want to watch?' he asked with a small smile

'Oh. No. Sorry. I'll have a look. Can I borrow your laptop?' I asked unsurely

'Of course' he said softly as he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it

'I'll go make popcorn' he said happily as he got up

I was so proud of him. He actually seemed happy about eating food.

I opened his laptop and a conversation popped up between Charlie and his friends. I didn't want to pry, but I saw my name on the screen and I couldn't just not read.

Tao: why do you refuse to come hang out with us? Is it because I asked if you'd come without Nick?

Charlie: no, i'm just busy.

Tao: can't go long without that puppy?

Darcy: it's more like the puppy can't seem to stay away

Tao: no matter how many times you tell him to stay

Isaac: not like you and Tara are much different

Tao: but they're our friends, he's just Charlie's puppy

Tara: boyfriend

Tao: whatever. we'll see if he'll last

I scrolled through the conversation with shaky hands, reading all the jabs they've been taking at me for the past few days only. It broke my heart. They truly didn't see me as their friend, just Charlie's boyfriend... or better yet a puppy that can't seem to stay away.

Fuck.

Tears clouded my eyes as I scrolled further and further. My hands were shaking and I just couldn't believe it. But what struck me the most was that Charlie wasn't opposed to any of their snide remarks. He even bought into them sometimes. He was kind and you could tell he meant no harm, but they obviously did.

I slammed the laptop hard and I tried to catch my breath. My head was spinning and I knew I didn't have much time before Charlie would come up and ask what's wrong and why I'm not downstairs. I stumbled into the bathroom, locked the door and splashed icy cold water on my face.

The coolness helped me calm down a little, but I was still shaken. I couldn't just leave. That would mean too many questions from Charlie, but I also couldn't stay. We needed to watch some sappy and extremely sad film so that I could cry and he wouldn't question it.

I tried to get my face as neutral as I could, but thankfully most of my red blotches went down. Only my eyes were a bit bloodshot.

'Nick?' he asked softly after he knocked on the bathroom door