We'll Be Alright

Ch 3 - Cookies

        "Babe?"
"Hm."
"What are you doing up?"
"Making cookies."
"Pica, it's two in the morning."
"Yep."

My boyfriend is sitting on the counter in only boxers, stirring a bowl with a deadpan expression plastered across his face and a smudge of flower on his collarbone.
"Okay, valid, but why?" I ask, flicking on the lights. He blinks rapidly at the sudden flood of brightness.
"Couldn't sleep." I sigh.
"Nightmares again?" Pica only shrugs and stirs more aggressively. "Okay, don't do that to the poor bowl." I gently pry it from his hands and he leans into me, cheek against my sternum. I scratch the base of my horn.
"Don't make me go back to bed," he mumbles.
"Well someone has to finish these cookies," I whisper, stroking his hair fondly. "Unless you'd rather I do it?" Pica immediately whips his head up at the suggestion, glaring at me with malice.

"I'll gut you," he says plainly.
"Noted," I laugh in response, placing the bowl back in his grasp. I'm notoriously terrible in the kitchen, and last time I tried to cook we ended up shopping for a new oven the next day. I pull out a baking sheet for him and spray it with that weird-smelling cooking oil that gets everywhere except where you need it to go.

The first time Pica's nightmares got really bad around me was when we officially moved in together, right after he told me about his regression. He woke up sobbing while I was trying to finish up some stuff for work, and when he looked at me, there was no recognition in his eyes- only fear. For a while, he wouldn't let me touch him after the nightmares, but eventually we progressed to my being able to hold him and calm him down.

I know what causes these nightmares. I was there for a lot of it (without knowing), and when he showed up at my house three and a half years ago, I got the gist of it. I don't make him talk about it. Usually I'll wrap him in a blanket and sing to him, rocking us both back and forth. I'm a light sleeper, so I get woken up every time. Once, he told me: "I feel bad for waking you up when I get bad."
"Why?" I'd asked.
"It feels like you get less sleep than I do."
"That's what coffee is for."
"You need sleep too," He'd insisted, frustrated.

"Does me being there help?" I asked simply. He hesitated for a second.
"Yeah."
"Then it's worth it," I said with a sense of finality as I kissed his forehead. It's not like I don't get sleep, either. I'm not someone who needs 10 hours of rest to be able to function. I'm good at resting when I need it. Even if it's just lazily running my hands over Pica's back while he sobs into my chest because his nightmares got worse, that's enough for me. Being there for him makes me feel complete.

I watch while my boyfriend dollops clumps of the dough onto the baking sheet, setting it in the oven.
"Here," he says, shoving the bowl at me. "I saved a little for you." I grin and kiss his nose lightly; he knows I like to snack on the raw dough. Salmonella can kiss my ass.
"Thank you, love."
"Mhm." I furrow my brow- something still seems off.

"You okay?" I ask gently and set the bowl aside.
"Not really."
"Wanna talk about it?" I pull him into my chest, massaging his shoulders, dissolving the tense knots under the surface of his skin. He pauses and then nods. "C'mon." I pick him up and he immediately wraps his legs around my waist, clinging to me like a koala. We sit on the couch and hold each other, murmuring little words in the dark. I'm doing most of the listening, but I'm okay with that- I like to listen to Pica, his low voice washing over me like gentle waves while my fingers flutter over his warm body, and in turn, his feather-light hands running through my hair and all over my horns.

Before I know it, the timer for the oven is going off, and Pica hauls himself off me to retrieve the cookies. I catch his hand before he gets too far away and tug it.
"I love you," I say firmly. He smiles, bending towards me and planting a kiss on my brow.
"I love you too," he murmurs against my skin. "Go back to bed."
"Okay."

A/N

aaaa our boys are communicating
they have a really healthy relationship and it's so amazing i love it
anyway pica has really bad nightmares most of the time because trauma and jonas is always there to help out and i love it sm