"Harry." He rolled off of me. "Harry. Harry, whats wrong?" He shook me, worry in his eyes and voice.
I sat up. "Louis, I love you. But...I-" Pain flew across his face at my next words. "I'm in love with Zayn." He looked away.
"Okay. Well I'm in love with Adam. I am extremely intoxicated at the moment...I'm sorry. You know where the door is." He refused to meet my eyes. I felt something inside of me shift, and it hurt. It hurt a lot.
I turned, facing the wall he wasn't, and thus landing us back-to-back. "Aren't you leaving?" He whispered. He was crying. Once again, I was making him cry. All I can make him do -it seems- is cry, and make him hurt.
I turned on the black comforter, facing him and pulling him back to me, so his head was laying in my lap, his face facing mine. "Why? You're still my best friend. Two friends, hanging out, both in love with someone else." I said awkwardly. I couldn't carry myself to the door, nor did I really want to for a reason I couldn't put my finger on.
Something screamed out at me, but i swallowed it down. It bubbled up again, but i closed my eyes tightly, refusing it.
I'm in love with him. It bursted, like a bubble, into my mouth, body, mind. Everything screamed out at me, how nuch I loved him. And i was also hating myself for not realizing it, or not wanting to.
When I opened my eyes, to see him staring back at me, it came to me. How the fuck didnt you realize it sooner? "I lied." He whispered. I knit my eyebrows closer together in confusion.
"What?"
"I lied. Im not in love with someone else. Harry..." He sat up, staring at anywhere but my eyes. "I...I can't hang around with you anymore. Knowing that you dont love me back? That hurts. That hurts like hell. More than anything else I've ever felt. I knew I loved you from the day that we first met. But I cant bring myself to be around you all the time, just as friends. You don't understand- you dont understand. ..what you do to me when you hold his hand, kiss him, stay with him when you could do better.
"Harry, Im sorry." He looked at me once, and the raw pain there hit me like a truck. I couldn't do it. I was going to stay away from him - for his own good. Cliche.
"Im so sorry Louis." I whispered. I love you. He smiled sadly.
"Its okay. I'm sorry for not being who you want. Im sorry for pushing you away. Goodbye- I love you." He stood, and walked me downstairs to the door, where he promptly lead me to his car.
Once in my house after a long awkward car ride, I pulled on a shirt, downed two bottles of achohol, and threw them to the ground, where tgey shattered. I slammed anything and everything I could reach, into the ground. Lamps, dishes, glass, remotes, the tv. Everything.
I hated myself.
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Them song references though. XD
I love you all...sorry for tge sucky chapter.
All the love, X
