Black Pearl✔️ [rewriting offline]

𝟓𝟔 | 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐆𝐨

•••••••

Again, the sticky, wet snow stuck to my cheeks as my face planted the ground. My teeth chattering, my palms almost numbed, the dry air filling my tiresome lungs when I found my dagger — the one Mo Lian Tan gifted — slipped between my fingers.

"I've spent longer between a woman's thighs than you've lasted on your feet, and let me tell you, I can last until my given breath. You've barely planted your feet on the ground before your mouth fills with snow. It's embarrassing. Get up,"

Agitated, tired to the bone, and sore from getting my ass kicked for days to possibly weeks or longer, I grabbed the dagger and stood to my feet. I should've seen her right hand rushing in to block my hit only to spin me around and somehow knock me off my feet, AGAIN. But I allowed my emotions to get in the way. Desperate to grow better than yesterday, and I must admit, I've never felt any stronger than I have over the last few weeks. My endurance has increased, my old weight has shredded, toning my muscles as close to the young girl I once was; my anger grew strong, placing it into physical activities to tire myself out, but my grief grew stronger. Yet, there were no more tears left to cry.

And keeping those who wished to share their condolences with me away helped a lot. I don't wish to face Li Wei nor Gho who has been pressing to visit me every day, and I don't wish to find Jiang Xue in Gho's arms within my home. Maybe I'm selfish, and though I wish nothing but happiness upon my family and their generation of children, my jealousy bit deep that I could taste the bitterness along my tongue. Wanue was just as painful, but she was one of the few distractions I enjoyed. A child whom I treated as my sister crossed the line of being my sister or being my adoptive child multiple times and I knew it was unhealthy. No child wishes to be deprived of attention, but distancing myself was needed.

Pushing my fallen hair out of my face, my agitation grew more apparent, biting the inside of my cheeks until blood saturates my tongue. Zhao Ji, unscathed, unbothered, full of energy, stood with her arms crossed waiting for me to come to her. And with no plan in mind, I rushed off my feet with the dagger at my side ready to strike. Zhao Ji, could practically yawn. Midway through my strike, she grabbed my wrist which held the dagger to dismantle it again, but I dropped the dagger to be caught in my other hand to 'jab' her. However please and caught off guard she was with my tactic knowing her hard work had paid off — snow numbed my cheeks, again.

My jaw clenched, melting the snow with my slow, heated breaths. I don't understand what's happening with me today. All this training day and night, barely any time to rest up or eat a proper meal since I've been fueled with a goal I'm desperate to achieve, just for it to be thrown out the window in less than two days. My movement was slower than ever. What's going on?

Gripping the snow between my red palms, my knees kissed the ground after attempting to stand. From the corner of my eyes, Yan Ran rushes over quickly. "Your Highness — " She stopped herself at my risen hand, anxiously biting her nails to keep from going against my command.