Carmen

Carmen - Excerpt

I saw him from the other side of the plaza. He was surrounded by a circle of friends, his lips tilting every time they all burst into laughter. I couldn't look too closely at him from where I sat, but I could tell things had changed about him since last year. His hair was cut shorter, the top slightly longer and swept to the side. A frayed denim jacket draped on his shoulders replaced the fancy prep-school cardigans I'd seen often on my brothers growing up.

Slowly, I began to creep away from my table looking out into the flurry of tourists and pigeons crawling across the brightly dyed bricks of orange, aquamarine and sunflower yellow. Swinging my backpack over my shoulder I crept across the shadow of the brick building beside me and thanked God for every inch I got closer to the parking lot.

In my hurry I didn't notice the hot dog stand circling the perimeter of the plaza. One second I could hear the creaking of its rubbery wheels, and the next I'm feeling a whole ton of metal knocking me off my feet. By the time I was on my ass, mustard and ketchup were raining over my, staining my white tank top and cargo shorts.

"Geez Miss! Are you okay?" the hot dog vendor asked, offering me a hand. My cheeks blushed wildly at the sudden silence that filled the crowd surrounding me. All I could really hear was the thumping of my heart and the dread crawling up my throat.

"Thanks." I whispered, guilty when I noticed how much stock the poor guy had lost as a result of our collision. Most of his ingredients hadn't only landed on me, but on the dirty pavement as well.

I scrambled through my bag for my wallet "I can pay for whatever I-"

"Don't worry about it ma'am. Think of the loss as a gift to celebrate your big day."

I furrowed my brows. "Gift?"

The vendor wriggled his thick mustache mischievously before nodding at me to look to my left.

Slowly, I turned my head and was met with a familiar pair of eyes staring at me with a look I couldn't properly describe, not even now.

Was it anger? Surprise? Confusion?

No, it was...adoration. It was with that realization that I found my life crumbling into pieces. The crowd began to applaud our meeting, a few whistling inappropriately. He smiled sheepishly, giving me that sort of, Well what are you gonna do? kind of glance.

But me? I already knew exactly what I needed to do-and then I did it. I ran. Probably too shocked to process my intentions, no one made much of an effort to stop me from reaching for my bike. I was already revving past the parking lot by the time I heard him call out my name. He must have thought me to be heartless at this point, and possibly even defective. Yet for reasons I was already well aware of, I couldn't find it in me to care.

Because while the man standing in front me probably thought he had just met the love of his life, all I could see was a future of lost opportunities and regret.

In other words, I felt nothing.