Mollie + Chester

Chapter Sixteen

I knew I was in hospital because of the smell; old musty flowers mixed with the smell of medicine and lumpy soup. I knew if I looked, I would find the roof that was the same in every room; one hundred and seventy-six tiles, all white with dirty grey grout. A heater/air conditioner would be placed thirty tiles across, fifty-eight tiles down.
My chest felt as if it were on fire and probably had tubes attached bringing in medicine and whatever. I willed my eyes to open, willed any part of me to move, but it was if my brain had stopped sending the commands for my body to work. I couldn't even lift a finger or toe off what I knew would be the plain white sheets that would feel like cardboard.
I had been like this before, unable to move but able to feel, hear and smell, when I had been here when I was eight after having caught the flu from some kid at school. Because the cancer was in my immune system, it meant when I got sick, I got really sick. That time only lasted a few days, I was told, and I heard every word that was said in the room.
The nurses had stood over my bed, completing the regular check-ups or whatever and I heard them talking.
"That boy is out there again, staring in here like always," one said.
"He's her brother, I've seen him with the parents," the other replied.
"I want to let him in, I feel so bad that we can't."
"I know, but it's for the little girl. He can't risk infecting her more."
They were silent for a minute and all I heard were the soft beeps of the machine that tracked my heart beat.
"Hey monkey." I knew the nurses had, despite the rules, let a sixteen year old Seth into my room. He grabbed onto my hand and talked. "Mum and Dad are worried, but I know something they don't; my little sister is a fighter. And, if you don't wake up in the next day, I'm eating every single chocolate chip cookie in Tamwood."
Now, it was if those two years hadn't passed; Seth sat at my bedside holding my hands again and here I was, unconscious and putting them through hell. But Seth wasn't talking this time. He wasn't calling me monkey or making jokes, he was crying.
It's not like I'd never seen or heard Seth cry before, his sister is dying it's kind of a given that he cry, but I know he always tries to hide it so I don't have to see him break.
"God, Mol," he said through tears. I heard him blow his nose and probably wipe his eyes. "How did everything get so messed up?"
I didn't say anything, because I couldn't so he continued. "They really think this could be it, Mol, please prove them wrong? I know you are a fighter, you are so much stronger than all of us, stronger than the entire town put together."
He stopped so I could hear the TV playing softly in the background, the characters fighting about some stupid game. Suddenly, there was a loud shrill noise as Seth's phone played the theme song from Batman making him jump out of his chair and rummage around until he pressed the green phone.
"Hello?" He said, falling back into the chair so loudly I wanted to roll my eyes.
"Hey, Seth? It's Macy," I heard from his phone.
"Oh, hey Macy, what's up?" There was some more rummaging and I assumed Seth was looking for a tissue or drink or something so he could stop crying.
"I was just wondering... You know, if you're not busy, if you would like to come over this week..."
"I can't, sorry, Mollie's..." Seth paused, not wanting to continue. I knew why; he hated the fake sympathy as much as I did. All the home made lasagnes and casseroles from the towns people back at home made him crazy.
"Mollie's..." Macy said.
"Mollie needs a babysitter, Mum and Dad are out all week and I have to watch her." He said that so fast I doubt Macy actually understood what he had said.
"Well, she can always come along and hang around in the shop..."
"Hang on, I'll ask." I wanted to roll my eyes. Was he really going to pretend...? "Mollie! Do you want to go over to Macy's? I'll get you all the ice cream you want!"
He paused for good measure, pretending I was replying then went back to the phone.
"She called me crazy for even asking, it's ice cream, but we'll see what happens. I'll call you, okay?"
"Yeah, talk to you soon then." Macy hung up and I wanted to slap Seth across the face. What was he doing, lying to a girl from an ice cream shop? But I did get it as well. All the girls in town looked at him with sympathy, like he was a kid who would just burst into tears at the slightest mention of death. But Macy was different. She probably had her suspicions, I didn't exactly look normal, but she didn't ask and treated Seth like normal.
"Oh Seth honey, you really need to eat something." That was Mum, obviously. I could tell by her voice sounding on the verge of tears, like always.
There was a sigh and someone tapped their fingers on the table.
"Do you think she will ever wake up?" He asked squeezing my hand.
Mum said nothing but I could hear her trying to stop the tears. Seth's hand let go of mine and I heard him crying now too. They both stood there, next to my bed, wanting me to wake up, but I couldn't.
"Mum..."
"Oh, I don't know," she cried falling into the soft chair, "obviously I want to believe she will but I don't know. I just wanted to see her grow up Seth, I want to see her graduate from high school and marry a nice man and have smiling happy and healthy kids and a perfect house in Tamwood with a white picket fence and three bathrooms. Is that too much to ask?"
Seth said; "mhm," before hugging Mum and they left the room, their footsteps growing lighter as they moved.
Both Seth and I knew that what Mum wanted for me was not what I wanted. I didn't care about living that perfect Tamwood life, in fact, if I could, I would leave. Maybe go away to boarding school or something so I didn't have to put up with the stupid town and everyone in it. But that dream was important to Mum and I couldn't help her get her dreams. I hated that I couldn't be perfect for Mum.
I tried to open my eyes again, but it was like they were glued shut.