Mollie + Chester

Chapter Eleven

Mum was standing in the middle of the crowd with her hands crossed and her foot tapping. It was 1:02 so she had probably been starting to get stressed, ready to call the police any second. When she saw our faces covered in red and black face paint as well as chocolate icing, her mouth fell open in surprise and I swear she would have fainted, but she had to get me ready for the Miss Apple Bee contest apparently which required her to be awake.
"What happened, Seth?" She asked over our heads as if it were Seth's fault.~
"I must note that their faces were like that when they came to me."~
"Oh, Mollie, how am I ever going to get you ready?" She started to grab my arm to take me towards the dressing room tent but I pulled back.
"Mum, I don't want to do Miss Apple Bee," I said, pleading with her now.
"Oh, don't be silly. Every girl wants to be Miss Apple Bee."
"Mum, maybe you should just listen to her," Seth said putting his hand on her arm. "She's old enough now."
"Every girl in town enters, it is fun..." She tried to drag me over again but I yanked my arm away.
"No!" I yelled crossing my arms. "When will you see that I'm not 'every other girl'!" People around us were starting to stare but I didn't care anymore. Let them stare at the imperfection as she lives her screwy life.
"Mollie..." Seth said quietly.
"I can't try anymore!" Now, tears filled my eyes and I could no longer see much but a blur of people. "I tried to be perfect! I tried to be someone that the town wanted me to be to make you happy! But I hate it!"
I swear I heard someone gasp audibly as if they had never heard a child talk to their parent in this way, though by this point I didn't care at all.
"You just want me to wear a huge dress that I can't move in and wear my hair up so it touches the sky, well, I can't! Look at this!" I pulled at my short hair. "You want me to be a sweet little girl who helps her Mum with the cooking and cleaning and who draws pretty pictures and plays jump rope and swings on the swings, but I can't" my chest started to heave.
"And I tried all this time, just to make you proud, so that I can see you smile because you are never happy, but I can't even do that! Why can't you just love me?"
I was coughing and crying and someone told me to calm down but I couldn't. I can't even throw a tantrum right, I thought.~
And then I didn't move. I didn't respond when people asked me if I were okay, I didn't nod my head when they asked if I could breathe. I just stood there until Seth, I think, scooped me up like I was a rag doll in his arms and carried me to his car which was all the way out in the town hall parking half way down Main Street. Toby sat with me in the back seat, trying to show me words in his notepad until he gave up and just stared out the window like I did.~
Seth took me to my bed and I rolled over, my face inches from the wall. A tear ran down my cheek onto the pillow and made a tiny wet patch that I watched until it disappeared. Chester nudged my arm and crawled under the covers. I squeezed him tight into a hug.~

Every person in the house tried to come in and talk to me but I just stayed facing the wall and didn't respond. I had out a veil between me and the rest of the world. Maybe then I wouldn't let them down. Maybe if I didn't exist, then they wouldn't be disappointed that they didn't have a normal daughter/sister who did normal things.
After an hour, there was another knock at the door. I tried to tell who it was by their footsteps, not light and quiet like Mum's, or heavy like Seth's. They weren't quick and uneven like Toby's or slow and carefully like Dad's. Hope swelled inside of me, maybe it was Alyssa, but she barely made a noise as she walked. They finally spoke and I heart sank. It wasn't Alyssa.~
"Mollie, I am a nurse from the hospital." I couldn't even be sad without warranting a trip from a nurse. "Your Mum called. She was worried, so they sent me. I'm Da Xia."~
I didn't move. "Now, you don't even have to say anything, I'm just going to sit here, reading this funny book ~and patting this strange cat with the funny name."~
I hadn't even noticed Chester had crawled out to greet the new visitor. I rolled over and looked up at the new lady. She was an Asian girl with a pretty porcelain face and jet black hair tied up in a neat bun. She wasn't wearing nurse clothes, rather jeans and a woolly jumper.~
"So, she turns," Da Xia said smiling.~
"Your name is cool," I whispered. I was surprised she even heard me.~
"Thanks. It means 'big hero' according to my parents. Though, I wouldn't say I'm a hero."~
"Heroes always have swords. And horses," I said.~
"Well, I don't have either of them, but I do a few butter knifes at home in my kitchen and a pet rat called Steed, do they count?"~
I smiled. "Yes."~
"Mollie, why are you sad?"~
I swallowed as the day's events came rushing back to me. "Because I'm the imperfection."~
"Really?" She said. "But who told you what perfect is?"~
"Everyone here is perfect. And then there's me coming with my ugly hair and stupid cancer, and I ruin everything."~
"You know, there are people in this country overseas who think the perfect woman is the fattest in the world. There was this culture who used to stretch women's necks because the longest neck was perfect. Some people right in this town think the weather is perfect when it's snowing, other think it's perfect when it's sunny, other like the wind. There is no perfect or imperfect, those words are only labels created by people to describe the things they love. What's perfect to you Mollie?"~
"I told you, everything I'm not..." I started.~
"No. What is perfect to you?"~
I was quiet for a moment thinking.~
"It's perfect just after it's been raining and the sun shines on the water that covered everything." I imagined sitting at my window watching the light go through all the water droplets making tiny rainbows.~
"That's not perfect. It's just beautiful."~

After Da Xia did all the medical checks that I could not pronounce the names of, she left sending Mum up to talk to me. After talking to Da Xia I had felt much better as she told me her Mum had died of cancer so she knew a lot of things I was feeling now. She also reminded me Mum was just trying to make me happy.
"Oh, hey sweetheart," Mum said sitting on the edge of my bed.
"I'm sorry," we both blurted out at the same time which made us smile.
Awkward silence hang over our heads. I watched her hands fiddle with a stray piece of cotton on the doona cover. Chester meowed and actually left the room.
"Well," Mum said finally, not looking at me. "Toby is still here, he's down with Seth playing Mario Kart, though Seth is quite terrible at it. And the fireworks start soon if you want to watch them..." She trailed off, letting the silence envelop us again.
"Okay," I said and she seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
"Alright then," she said and she got up, leaving me alone. I followed closely, though not too closely so we wouldn't have to make small talk on the way down to the kitchen and I followed the sound of Seth saying "this game is rigged" until I found them stretched out on the couch with plastic steering wheels in their hands.
"And finally we can bask in the presence of Mollie!" Seth cried practically throwing the remote and steering wheel at me. "I suck at this game. Beat Toby for me."
I laughed and sat down just as Toby pressed play and we both zoomed off, driving at the same speed, not succeeding at overtaking each other at all. Suddenly, Toby paused the screen to write something in his book.
Some competition! Seth kept falling off, even when I had thought it was impossible to fall off!
I laughed and Toby pressed play without me being ready so he was able to zoom off, leaving my character in a cloud of dust behind him. On the last lap, I remembered the short cut, so I took it, managing to get ahead for a few seconds.
"I win!" I shouted as I made my character do a wheelie over the finish line.
"Kids, it's eight! Fireworks should be starting in fifteen minutes!" Seth yelled from the kitchen and Toby and I raced each other to sit at the bench.
"We need hot chocolates," I said and Seth rolled his eyes. "Am I your servant now, oh masters Mollie and Toby?" Toby giggled, most likely reading Seth's lips
"Pleeeeeease!" I whined but he was already getting out the ingredients. "Oooh, can I mix it?" I asked reached for the spoon. Seth fake slapped my hand away.
"I am the hot chocolate master, missy," he said putting the mugs into the microwave. The wiring noise began and I rested my head in my palms and my elbows on the bench.
"Where's Mum?" I asked fiddling with a pile of salt that was left over from dinner.
"Shower," Seth replied.
What's so special about these hot chocolates? Toby asked and I smiled evilly.
You'll see.
The microwave beeped and Seth pulled out three steaming mugs, placing them on the bench.
"One scoop or two?" He asked.
"Two!"
Seth laughed and pulled the ice cream out of the freezer and let it drop on the bench.
Ice cream? Toby wrote.
It's the best. Try it.
Seth pushed the mugs towards us and I immediately took a sip.
Best hot chocolate ever!

Chester sat huddled in Mollie's lap buried in the wrinkled materials of her ginormous jacket. The light shone from the top of the door and bugs hovered around it buzzing annoyingly. Toby sat close, his right hand with the crossed fingers and his left drumming on the hand rail of the step. His Mum had agreed to let him stay over and watch the autumn fireworks which were not as brilliant as the New Year's Eve displays in Sydney or Melbourne but since they were so close, it was like they were falling on you if you looked up in the sky.
Mollie wrote a note in the little book and showed her friend.
What are you hoping for now?
That when I the fireworks go off, you will smile, because you never smile. Toby replied holding up his right hand with the crossed fingers.
Mollie poked her tongue out at her friend and half smiled.
You should try it. Hope for something, Toby wrote.
Okay... Mollie looked out into her backyard as she though.
I hope Chester will not get scared when the fireworks explode and he can enjoy them.
See! You can hope.
Mollie nodded just as a tiny ball of light shot up into the air and exploded into a dozen bright colours.
"Seth!" She called as the bright lights trailed down as if falling on top of the kids. Chester huddled closer to Mollie scared of the loud noises but she scratched him behind the ear and calmed down.
Another bright light shot up in the air and the colourful dots left a trail of smoke, remaining for most of the night.
The smoke trails were imperfections that were not intended to be there, but they were still beautiful.