#MaAn - Steps forward

His Emotional Turmoil

And he lifted her in his arms, just like he had on their wedding night.. She had become his wife that day, she would become his lover tonight. That night they had sleep in their eyes after a long wedding ceremony, this night they carry passion and yearning for the love that had finally been given it's rights.

Having put her gently on the bed that he decorated himself, he sat besides her. The light pink nightdress shining besides his sheer white ensemble, they could not take their eyes off each other's beaming faces that held a burning desire and need for each other. The more they gazed at each other, the stronger and warmer their hands carassed each others. There came a moment though when his eyes turned a different emotion, an emotion that he had tried to overcome repeatedly in the last couple of days. An emotion that if released would taint their memory of this night. She saw him change his body language, she felt his demeanor shift. With her eyes she questioned him, challenged him to reveal his turmoil.

And then it happened....

His dam had broken, he knew if he does not heed to his emotions now, they will be bottled forever. He put his forehead on her raised knees, took in few deep breaths, showered her satin clad knees with tiny kisses. And then very slowly he looked at her with eyes full of tears. She came forward immediately, shocked to see his outburst, feeling his hands tighten the grasp and his fingers tightening and untightening. She asked him why the tears now when they are becoming one finally and that was enough for him to break down totally. His shoulders dropped and shook violently as he broke into sob after sob. He brought their entwined hands to his lips and peppered them with wet kisses. She finally understood what undid this man of hers. She was able to feel the pent up pain, want, need, love and passion that he had held in himself for the last 27 years. He was about to free himself of those bonds and his heart needed this emotion to unwind before his body became one with hers. She could not feel the extent of his emotions, she knew him for only a few months but she knew that it was these emotions itself that pulled her to him.

She brought herself further to him, pried open his hands, lifted his face and pulled him to her. Their hugs were the first cross of "Maryadaas" which happened soon after she had agreed to marry him but this hug was a whole new feeling. He had never hugged her with passion and need, it was always warmth and love. He did not want any space between their bodies, not even for air. They were flush against each other and their hands had started their own exploration of their beloved in the hope of calming each other. For the first time, she had rested her head on his shoulders in a hug, till now she would only be captured within his beating chest. Her emotions with this new proximity and closeness had overpowered now and she also was sobbing in his arms.......

They stayed in their coccoon, trying to overcome their emotions, trying to calm their tears. He was the first to lift his head and see her buried in his shoulder and neck. He also realised that it was another first for them. Moving her hair away and lightly touching her sindhoor, he bent close to her and pressed his lips on her forehead with all his love. Tightening his grip on her thinly covered body, realising that beneath this satin was "HER", he moved her hair to one side and traced his fingers on her neck. This brought her back to the moment and she lifted her head to glance at him. Asking him if he is better, she brought her hands to his face. He fell into her touch, nodded his head for a yes and kissed her hand. She wiped his tears and came closer to give him a kiss. He paused her though, quickly with a head shake and asked her to forgive him. She again came forward, gave him a long wet kiss on the cheek and told him, I hope touching my sindhoor gave you the comfort you needed and the strength to let go of the pain from the past. He said sorry again, that he needed this release in her arms, needed to break free of his pent up feelings that were shackling his heart. Even though he knew breaking down with these emotions would spoil their moment, he had no option but giving into his heart and breaking down in her arms.

But that has happened now, it's time I make you feel what you probably have never felt before, he said. I am going to warn you, this night is not going to be short neither is it going to be easy, so do brace yourself my dear lover wifey he warned her. With that he lifted her shy face and touched her burning lips for the first time ever. Her breath stood still, while he traced every curve of her lips in a tiresome manner, making her groan of need and drop her head back. This action opened her mouth and he slipped his finger in a tiny bit. She held his hand there and gave him a glare to not torture her more. He smiled agreeing to her eyes and brought his lips down to hers. A slight peck at first, a tingle to feel, he captured her lips in a warm kiss. She had goosebumps all over her and brought her hands to his hair to bring him more closer. This undid him and he pulled her close and deepened his kiss...their kiss...her kiss.... their first of many and made sure that both were then lost in each other.