Leaving You Behind

Prolouge

I'm starring out my window sitting in my living room, it feels like for hours, I feel sick but also a sense of calm. I have been stuck in the same position. I don't know what I'm doing or what is happening, at this point I'm honestly unsure of where I am and I feel trapped. It's bright and sunny out, the trees are a nice shade of orange, fall is here and I love fall or at least I used to. Even though everything is bright and everyone is happy it does not feel that way to me, it's so dark and everything is a blur. I can't focus on anything particular.
If I'm being honest I'm just trying to process things, but I have a blank mind. As I stare through the window of the apartment I hear a knock on the door. I try to hide myself in the blankets I'm covered because there is no way in hell I'm answering that door not after what happened I can't handle this and I think I'm too afraid of who it could be. After about thirty seconds the person at the door knocks again and there is a voice that follows it, at first I was scared but then I realize who it is, Amanda.
"Hey, I know your home I just want to drop off some food."
I run to the door and swing it open, not because I'm excited but because it is someone else than who I am horrified to see. I am afraid that if I see who I thought I was going to see, I don't really know what the future holds if that would happen.
She sits down at the kitchen table across from me as she unpacks some chinese food she got down the road, must have just gotten off of work. As she hands me my food I start eating right away, I have not eaten all day. Amanda is talking about something random, I think she is talking about work but i'm not sure because I'm honestly in my own world at the moment.
She has seem to caught onto the fact that i'm in a whole other world.
"Hey are you ok? It seems like you have never seen the earth before."
"Yeah, I'm fine just a boring day." I say lying straight through my teeth, but Amanda already knows.
"You know you can tell me anything, I'm concerned you don't seem well."
I finally crack, someone has to know at some point.....