Spring Break [on pause]

the break.

"So when is the president of the university going to make a statement?", asks Parker after a moment of silence. "It can't be that a student died on campus, everyone tries to cover it up and students are taking their midterms as if nothing happened!"

I very much agree with him, but I understand that the Deans don't want to circulate information that is not accurate. Furthermore, Jason was discovered a few hours ago, during a period when everyone was either studying in their rooms or running from exam to exam. And from what I can tell when I now look closer at the Dining Hall the message is spreading itself even if nobody officially comments on it. Sometimes I can just wonder how different you perceive people when you know things that you didn't ten minutes ago.

"What kind of statement do you expect?" It is clear that Mia is about to cry and I take her hand under the table and press it softly. Clearly, my friend is shaken. "We are sorry to inform you that one of our students fell over the handrail outsides our study rooms. However, academic matters should not be impacted by this?" I know she is sarcastic to prevent herself from crying.

"I think we should give them a bit more time", enters Logan into the conversation again. "Mia said they discovered Jason just a few hours ago. Students are writing their papers, professors are grading in their offices, so maybe the responsible person to approach this matter hasn't even been noticed. Also, it helps nobody if they spread panic without having an idea of what happened." Logan is right. We just came back from our exam and I was so focused on my midterm that it was on my mind all morning. Everybody who is still doing exams probably doesn't even know yet what happened.

And yet it feels strange to just sit in the Dining Hall and act as if nothing happened. Nobody is eating and I catch myself shifting my fruit from one side of the table to the other. I barely knew Jason, we met a couple of times across campus, mostly when one was holding the door for the other, but most people at least have an idea of who Jason was. He is engaged in the Asian-Canadian society as well as in the school's newspaper.

"So, what happens now?" Mia is asking the question that is on our all minds. "We just wait until somebody tells us what to do? I don't know about you but I definitely don't feel like studying for my other finals. I don't know if I am able to concentrate knowing that just a couple hundred meters apart Jason ... oh my god." She starts sobbing again and Parker lays his arms around her shoulders trying to calm her a little bit down.

"We should probably wait until the official bodies let us know what to do!", says Sienna. "I don't think anybody will be mad at us if we say we heard the news and didn't feel like taking the exams. They will understand." Even though Jason is the only person I should feel sorry for at the moment I can't help but feel sorry for Sienna as well. When you go on student exchange you expect to experience a lot but I don't think a student dying in an accident on campus is part of your expectations.

"I feel like I want to go to my room and sit there for a bit", continues Mia before she puts her cutlery aside. She hasn't taken a single bite from the snack in front of her. "But I also don't wanna be alone right now. Maybe I should watch something to distract myself." She blushes. "I'm sorry ... that was disrespectful."

"It's okay, Mia, you're right. You should get some rest. Jason would not have wanted people to be upset. I can bring you to your room." Parker smiles slightly at Mia. He is the guy you want as your best friend because he always seems calm, no matter what happens and he is always there for you when you need something.

"Yes, let's go get a break." I nod affirmatively. Suddenly, all of the noise in the Dining Hall and people scampering between the tables are giving me a headache. Maybe I should lie down and think about what I learned in the last half hour. We agree to leave and everyone gets up and brings their plate to the trash and dishwasher zone.

After disbanding Logan and Parker in front of the Dining Hall we girls walk to LeBlanc residence. Mia and I have lived there for three years now and the fact that it is the smallest residence on campus and you constantly meet people definitely helped our friendship to grow. Sienna is living there for the year too, while the boys live in Thompson. For Parker, it is the third year as well, while Logan transferred in the middle of his Sophomore year.

Back in residence, I say goodbye to the other girls and head to my room. It is small and rather cold in the winter but over the past years, it has become home to me. Back there I just sit on the bed and stare at the ceiling. My brain is still processing the information about Jason's death. Somehow I can't believe he is dead. Like Parker said, many of us just saw him a week ago. Everything feels so surreal.

I don't know how long I sat like this in a state of shock but the mail sound of my phone lets me startle. I realize almost two hours have passed as a pick up my phone. The inbox shows an email from the president of the university. It's a long text following the university's logo and I just skim through it, already knowing what to expect. The president writes about a tragic accident on campus that is being investigated by the local police department. Since the reading week is only a few days away and in respect to everyone who might have known Jason we are being sent on spring break early, with more information to follow soon.

As weird as it was hearing about Jason's death earlier, it feels even stranger reading about it in an official email that explains every procedure of the next days but with no word what has happened. Nobody wants to talk about an absence that will be even more striking in the next weeks, when Jason will be missing in classes, the Dining Hall and campus societies. I try not to think about it. In one thing, I agree with the president. We all need a break.

________

Welcome back :)
Late, but finally here - the second chapter of the book!

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