Spring Break [on pause]

the disagreement.

The rest of the afternoon I just spend in bed. I kind of want to do the same thing Mia does and distract myself, but just like she, I feel terrible doing so. It doesn't work anyway. I try to read but put my book down after a few seconds; I try to watch a show but don't feel like more action or laughing. Finally, I even consider starting on a homework assignment that is due in two weeks, but my work is so terrible that there is no chance of handing this in.

Whatever I do, it seems impossible not to think about Jason. I didn't see him dying, we weren't even close friends, but I feel like there is a dark aura over campus. For a second, I think about calling my parents but put that thought away very quickly. I know my mom too well, and she would totally freak me out and would probably want to have me back home by tomorrow. And as much as I don't wanna be here right now, I don't wanna deal with my mother who is gonna ask me a ton of questions to which I have no answer.

Finally, I decide to message my friends. The situation is terrible for everyone, but it seems better to be in this together than alone. I pull up the group chat that we five have. I have tons of groups with friends and fellow students for all kinds of themes and projects, and of course, there is one for the people I spend most of my time with while I am here on campus. 

"How are you guys?" I delete the text before I hit send. Stupid. If I want to know how everybody feels, I just have to look in the mirror. "Are you doing okay?" Better, but it doesn't sound right even. "I feel so restless. Anyone up for a call?" Well, that's honest, and this time I hit the send button before thinking about it too long.

A few instances later, Parker texts back. I don't know why, but I knew he would be the first one to respond now that everyone is free and just sitting around. He is the carer of the group, constantly checking in with everybody and the first to realize when something is off. "Anytime. You're not alone in this situation. Feeling bad too."

"Hey guys, do you mind if I join? I think I would like to talk to somebody." Mia.

"Sure, I can set up a group call :)" Oh, Parker, you don't know how much needed your virtual smile is right now.

Sienna is now online too. "Can I join? I feel like I'm getting cabin fever, but I don't wanna go outside."

"Count me in. Let's do a video call." Logan.

Five minutes later, we are on a group call, and as far as I can judge, everyone looks shaken by the recent events. Mia sighs. "I talked to my parents before, and they want me to come home immediately. It's not a long drive to Toronto, and I am considering it an option." Mia is a sensitive girl. She is bright and cheerful most of the time, but when something really disturbs her, she is a changed person and loses all her ease.

"I have told my parents, too. I think they want me to come home even though they don't say it." Sienna. I can't imagine what she goes through, being in a foreign country, ready for the time of her life, and then something like this happens. Furthermore, her family is thousands of miles away, and she can't simply take the train like everyone else of us.

"Maybe that is a good idea, Sienna. You know, you could just go home during the break to clear your head." Parker shifts his weight in the chair and takes a sip out of his cup. "Also, guys, I got a reminder from the Oasis Resort just before. What do I tell them?"

Ufff. Right. The Oasis. With all that has been going on today morning, I forgot about that. With Spring Break coming up next week, my friends and I had planned a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It was our last chance to fully enjoy "Reading Week" before we are actually supposed to get work done around this time in senior year. Sienna, who wanted to travel during her year abroad, came up with the idea, and everyone was thrilled about the possibility of sunshine in February.

"Well, I guess that we are not going?" I am the first to answer after Parker puts the question in the room.

"Wait, wait, wait." Logan pulls his laptop closer to his head. "We have been planning this trip for weeks now, guys. Everything is set and organized. We can't simply cancel, can we?"

"Logan, you are not suggesting we go to Mexico just a week after somebody died on campus?" Mia looks at Logan irritatedly.

"I just say it won't be that simple canceling the booking. We were supposed to leave on Saturday morning. That is in three days. So I am not sure if we can cancel our flights that easily, either."

Shoot. He is right. We planned Mexico before Christmas, carefully selecting cheap flights and a good hotel, and I still remember how much money we still spent in the end. Yet, thinking about Mexico right now feels wrong.

"Logan is not entirely wrong," admits Parker. "It will be quite difficult to opt out that close to the date of the trip." He scratches his chin. "I know this sounds a bit weird, but maybe we should still go? I think getting out of here would help us? But, of course, everyone who wants to go home is free to go. I am just suggesting."

"How can you even consider that an option, Parker? This is so wrong!" Mia shakes her head.

"I think Parker has a point." Did I really just say that? Well, my brain is trying to reason, I guess, even if my feelings are not fully catching up to that. "Everything is paid for and organized. We all know that Jason was involved in this terrible accident, but there is nothing we can do at this moment to change it. So maybe it would do us good to get some time away."

"I agree with Parker and Ava," says Logan. "It doesn't help Jason anymore if we sit around here and constantly think about his death. He surely would't want us to see like this."

"I don't know. I am not sure if that is a good idea." Sienna seems far less convinced than Parker, Logan, and I. In fact, she looks as troubled as Mia. I would totally understand her if she decided to leave for Italy. Mia's opinion on our planned trip already seems quite clear. Usually, we get along very well, but given the circumstances, we have a disagreement here right now.

________

Aaaand here we are - chapter 3, this time a bit earlier =)

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