Xadezhda
Preparations for the vìdelenya were hasty, the Lords and Ladies of Ventura had already begun arriving. Xadya paid no attention to any of them, far too wrapped up in her own thoughts.
A brave one even asked her if she was competing. Xadya laughed in her face.
She had much more important things to do than attempt winning the hand of a King who had already taken a lover. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of Airo with a woman.
It was James. It had always been James.
Xadya curled her forefinger around the page of yet another novel. She had combed through each and every history book in the library, looking for mentions of Arcane, or the gods, or better yet, both.
"I thought I might find you in here." It was Luisza who had pushed the door open, scanned the library, and still somehow managed to locate Xadya in the far corner of the room, hidden behind tables and chairs.
"I'm just..."
"I know," she said, warmly. Luisza sat on the floor with Xadya and gently took the book from her hands. Xadya gazed down at where it had been. Her talons were gone, the corruption was gone.
A harsh reminder that Xadya was once again, human.
She carried herself awkwardly these days. With no memories of her human life before Arcane, Xadya had no idea who she really was.
She had not shared that sentiment with anyone and yet found it spilling out of her for Luisza.
"I had to blend in," the other girl said. "Learning to be Venturan was a task, and a difficult one at that. I know it is not the same, but perhaps I relate to you a little."
"Do you ever wish to go back?" Xadya asked.
Luisza smiled at the memory of her country. "If I can be granted pardon one day, perhaps I'd like to visit. Until then I'd much rather stay."
"You must have been pleased to find Finley."
"Very much so. When I first stumbled across the Venturan border away from the Laszicslavi generals I did not imagine I'd meet someone quite like her. Especially not on the Guard."
Xadya recalled their journey up the mountain, up the in between. "She's tougher than she looks."
Luisza beamed. She sat with Xadya a moment longer before giving her a slight smile and letting her be.
Xadya was grateful to be left alone once again, but she stilled warmed at the sight of Luisza being so open with her. As challenging as it had been for Xadya to trust her, she imagined it had been incredibly difficult for Luisza as well. Ex-Arcane as she was, most were still wary of her.
She blinked in and out of focus. How long had she stayed there?
Xadya though it best to avoid the revels and the gatherings, let Airo tend to that. She would only distract him.
Her head hurt. She closed the book and began to wander the empty halls, music echoing faintly from the courtyard. Xadya walked and walked until she had reached her bedroom. Having no desire to be in it whatsoever, she quickly changed into a velvet doublet, black as night. She pulled on her boots and headed for the door.
The breeze was cool that night. Human now, she was glad to be out of the snow. She feared she would have frozen to death on the mountain.
As she walked, she recalled each and every event, unable to sear them from her mind. She wanted desperately to forget. Malakhai was gone and they had failed. Nothing of the journey was worth remembering.
