Is it ever enough?

1.

Karylle P.O.V

Freedom Park as what they called it. Mahangin, Maaliwalas, Minsan Tahimik, Minsan romantic, Ang dami ko na ngang nasaksihang proposals dito. Nakakatuwa sana may gumawa din sakin nito. Pero parang ako pa yata ang gagawa. I was sitting here for about 20 minutes dito sa lover lane waiting for my bestfriend. Si Vice. Since ito naman yung tagpuan namin lagi. I'm an A.B Communication major while PolSci naman course niya. Today is the day that I will tell him my feelings. That I love my super gay bestfriend. Yes you heard it right. He's gay. I know that whatever happens I believe he will become a man. and I'll help him out. Kahit na friendship pa ang kapalit. Pero sorry na lang kasi nakataya na ko. I'll pursue him.

I saw him walking near me and halatang hagardo versoza ang friend ko dahil sa humulas na ang make up niya but still I find him cute kase mas gusto ko yung natural niyang kapogian. Nagbeso kami at ininom agad yung tumblr sa tabi ng bag ko.

"Jeske ka init nemen" reklamo niya habang nagpapaypay gamit ng pamaypay na hawak niya.

"Haggard mo nga eh" sabi ko nmn

"Bwiset na preamble yan, Nakalimutan ko kaloka! Lowest tuloy ako kanina. Sabay pang sira aircon sa room ay naker para kaming pugon sa loob" At nagpatuloy pa siya sa kadadaldal na hindi ko naman pinapakinggan dahil sa nag iisip ako kung paano ko uumpisahan sabihin yung feelings ko. Napansin nmn niya na nakatingin ako sa lapag at huminto siya sa pagdaldal.

"K, anyare? may problema ba? Pinagtripan ka nnmn ng prop mong bakla? Tara samahan kita sabunutan ko para tuluyang mapanot"

I look at him that i put all the emotions on my face. I think I saw him bit his lip. He does that when he feel nervous or frustated. I knew him.

"Vice when i first feel it. I know its true. I can't explain it pero alam ko at sigurado ... " Nagsasalita pa lang ako ng magsalita siya

"K, anong drama yan?" He said while tilting his head. I know this time inis na siya but I need to say this

"Vice I love you. Kahit bakla ka okay lang. I know magiging lalaki ka din. Tutulungan kita" I look straight in his eyes. But I don't see any emotion in his eyes. It was blank and I saw a little sadness in his face.

"April fools ba ngayon? Okay na! ang galing mong umarte. Artista ka na. " sabay palakpak na tuwang tuwa

"Vice I'm dead serious I love you" I told him. Halos naubos na yata lahat ng pawis ko dahil sa nerbyos.

"K! Don't please. Ganda ganda mo oh. Tsaka di ako papatol sa merlat lalo na sayo alam mo yan. Naker gutom ka na ata eh. Nagagawa mo pag inom ka ng inom tara ililibre kita sa hepa lane." Pag aaya niya

Ganito pala feeling ng rejected. Ang sakit. Hindi niya pa sineryoso yung pinagsasabi ko. Kahit kulang na lang lumabas tong puso ko.

"Guys I want you to know that I love my super best friend more than he knows. Kahit bakla siya. I'll do everything for him. Vice I love you I'm serious" I yelled. Halos narinig ng lahat ng nasa area lahat ng sinabi ko. Some gigling at vice while some put a disgusted look at my face. Nanlaki nmn ang mata ni vice sa narinig niya. He's face is unreadable but all I can see was a frustation and anger in his eyes.

He grab my hand immediately and walk into the car park area.Mahigpit yung pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko at nasasaktan ako. Its the first time he does that to me. Pagkapasok namin sa kotse niya. He began hitting the dashboard. Yung manibela ng sasakyan gisto niyang tanggalin sa gigil. I felt like crying seeing him doing stuffs like that.
After that he looked at me angrily

"What was that k? Are you stupid Nababaliw ka ba? He yelled at me
I saw an angry version of him which I didn't see for the last 15 yrs we've been friends. Now I want to kill my self for telling it to him. Sana walang problema. I was just looking down to think what would I answer when he yelled at me again

"What k? Joke ba yun? O nagpapansin ka lang? Nakakahiya! Pinahiya mo ko para sa kalokohan mo" I started to get hurt bout what he's saying.

"Totoo yun vice, mahal kita" I yelled at him too and started to cry

"Bakit k? Bakit? If you think this is funny then its not I'm pissed" He asked as he looked frustrated at me

"I don't know, basta alam ko mahal na kita. Unexplainable nmn ang love kaya wag mo kong tatanungin kung pano at bakit" I said while crying on him. Somepoint nagalit na din ako kase parang kasalanan ang mahalin siya.

He left out a sigh and said "You cannot love your bestfriend k. He doesn't feel the same way and I don't think he will love you the same way you did to him. Masasaktan ka lang I'm sorry. So please get out of my car now bago pa magdilim paningin ko"

Now I'm crushed. Hindi ko alam na ganito pala yung pakiramdam ng basted, rejected by your bestfriend. Hearing the last sentence on him makes me do an unlimited laceration. I wipe my face with my hand and get out of his car and drive my self away from him.

Galit na galit ako sa sarili ko that i want to hit the road that fast. I went in a bar near in taguig and ordered a whiskey.

" For a student in an afternoon Whiskey coming right up" Sabi ng bartender. After a minute he gave me my order. I drank it straight and I swear nakalimutan ko kung sino ako. Nagulat naman yung bartender sa ginawa ko at nangiti "Brokenhearted ba miss?" He asked me.

"Pag broken hearted umiinom agad? And who are you by the way? Bago ka?" I asked and he answered me with a smile.

"Halata mam sa mata niyong nasaktan, at opo bago po ako. Vhong po pala" pagpapakilala niya.

"He rejected me. My best friend just rejected me" And there, I breakdown again