Two Different Worlds

F O U R T E E N

T I N A

"Christina! What has gotten in to you? I thought you liked him!" We're both at my house and I'm still sobbing like crazy. I didn't want to reject him. It just felt like it'd be better if we stay as friends so that things won't be ruined.
"Tina. Talk to me." Allison muttered out. I just stared at her and not mind the tears falling down my cheeks.
"I knew you didn't want this to happen."
And now, I managed to speak, "I just don't want to hurt hi-" Then I got cut off by Allison.
"Didn't want to hurt him? You already did! Did you saw how sad Mason was? You messed it up, not him. Good luck with trying to get him back." I can here disappointment in her voice and then she immediately left my house. I can't believe how messed up I am. I didn't want to hurt him - but I did - he deserves someone better. Someone who isn't so fucked up and would make him smile everyday, someone who isn't me.
I'm so fucked up that I couldn't even think straight and I have no words to say on how much I feel really guilty because, Mason's in the hospital, he got hurt, twice. Does he even deserve me? No.
I went straight up stairs to go to my bed room and threw my bag on the floor, like I really don't care - but I do. I love him so much but I couldn't just face it. I like him, I really do. I just don't wanna ruin our friendship. It's going so well and I'm just afraid that I might get hurt. Call me a selfish bitch but I also think about people who's part of my life. Like Mason, he got blacked out and I bought him to the hospital. My mother who had a heart attack one time and rushed her to the hospital. I am not "that" kind of a selfish bitch because I care about everyone that's been their for the rest of my life but it's been only months since I met Mason.
Christina, you are so messed up, I thought and then I lay down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling and went to sleep crying.
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Sorry for the really short chapter. I couldn't think of anything any more and it's like around 10 or 11 pm in my country, I apologize.

I also have a new book that's called "Talk About Opportunities", it's about a girl who's anti-social and literally hates whores, sluts, cunts, etc. She mostly spends her time on the internet and won't give a single freak about the whole world. Also, I have no idea if I should continue this book but I do feel like I should just not delete this and wait until I get more positive feedbacks.

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