Celestia | A fantasy romance

Chapter Thirteen

Why does everything have to be this hard? Why can't my heart understand that I can't do what it desires? Why can't it understand that I must not lose it.

I don't understand how she makes me so fucking obsessed with her.

Sometimes, I hate the way she makes me feel. Because I am always on verge of breaking apart and devouring her up whole. I'm always clinging onto my conscious by one single thread. And I hate how she doesn't even notice it.

How she doesn't notice how hard I'm trying. Trying to keep myself in check.

She loves me. Not in the way i love her, but the way she loves her family. I know that for sure. I'm nothing but the happy guy whose jokes make her roll her eyes. And i was happy being that to her until now.

I'm a person too. I want to do things that i desire. I want to do things I'm not supposed to. But the world outside is turning to hell. The sky is literally ripping apart, dropping creatures from other worlds who want to kill us.

And i can't afford to be distracted by her anymore. Neither can she.

I get that there's a chance that she is also starting to feel something for me. Considering how she didn't stop me from kissing her.

But right now, i don't want her to be thinking that way. She needs rest, both mentally and physically. And i need my space. Not more than you need her, says a voice in my head that I'm starting to ignore.

I can do it. I can pretend and laugh and smile at her again. I can lie and joke and be with her like i used to. I can do all of that again. Without expecting anything in return.

"Mallum?"

I look over to where the voice came from. Mrs. Auroran. I smile at her and she smiles back. She's such a warm person. Just like her daughter, i ignore the voice once again.

"You know she's up right?" I ask her. I'm not sure if she was informed. We were too busy with our own reunions.

"I do, yes." She says, her smile turning sad. Is she, is she not happy about it?

She senses my confusion and explains. "She's not looking good." the sentence stabs me in the heart. "I can sense her despair. She's putting up a fake front, son." Her eyes bore into mine. I wait for her to continue, because i just know there's more. "Apart from that....."

I question her with my eyes. What is it that concerns her more than what she's already said? I hear my heart beat like it's a drum on Ziskawa.

Her eyes swell with tears as she says the rest. "I don't sense any magic in her."

I hear a gasp. It's coming from me. This isn't true. I need to know this isn't true.

I rush over to her and shake her by her shoulders. "You're joking right? Tell me you're joking. Please tell me it's a lie." I say frantically looking at her face to find any trace of a joke.

"I wish." She breathes out. Her face breaking apart.

I can't stop the tears.
Not her. Please, just not her. Anyone but her, please. She can't be a Vixen.

She's nothing like them. She's beautiful and kind and good in her heart but they're ruthless and cold.

They're outcasts. And now she's one of them.

Vixens are people shunned out by the society for being abominations. The king has been kind enough to give them a home, a village, a place where they can live with their own kind. It's called The Grime. They'll send her out to that—that hellhole. I had to go past that place, for some reason I can't recall, long back and gods is that place depressing. Every inch of that place is gray. The land is gray too, the ashes of their past spreading throughout their village. My heart plummeted when I saw little tiny kids searching through trash for food.