𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲, 𝐛𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐢

𝟷𝟺. 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎

I am back from the dead. Thank you for almost 1k followers and for over 100k reads. I honestly can't wrap my little brain around any of it. 

Dark content ahead! Talk of past parental abuse. Talk of alcoholism. Talk of past self-harm. Talk of suicidal thoughts. Talk of suicidal attempts. Talk of abusive romantic relationships.
Proceed with caution.

Hard topics will come up within this fic both now and in the future. Keep this in mind. None of this is meant to be glorified at all. It is intended to be real, just like the rest of my book. Again, please be cautious if you choose to proceed.

I will be straightforward and admit that there are personal pieces of my life spread throughout this chapter. Y/N's journal entries and certain events within are extremely personal to me. Please be kind. I do read comments lmfao.

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"Stay?" You blink slowly as your brain processes Jean's words to you. "You want me to stay?"

Jean stares at you for a second; his face befuddled like he can't believe he's actually doing this. His words then flatly greet your ear. "It's just a suggestion, Y/N. It would be easier, right? Since I'm going with you tomorrow."

A large amount of saliva gathers on your tongue and settles; you swallow it harshly. "You aren't gonna kick me out of your bed in the middle of the night?" Your head tilts slowly to the side, gaze on him remaining firm. "Heard that's sorta what you're known for."

Jean drags out one long blink, patently unfazed that you know this. "Who said you're gonna be sleeping in the same bed as me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're totally right." Your head aligns straight again as a small laugh passes through your lips. "Connie's bed is available for me to take when he gets home, isn't it?"

He racks his long fingers back through his mullet, smoothing out any crevices. "Why? Is that the selling point or some shit?"

"Exactly," you shoot him a smile so vast that your cheeks meet your eyes, proudly knowing you're pushing all the wrong buttons. "You should have just started with that. I would have said yes to your offer right off the bat."

Jean's eyes roll before locking with yours again, both of his palms running down the length of his thighs to rest on his bent knees. "You think you're funny?"

Your nose scrunches up. "You don't?"

His mouth twitches, and a smile breaks through, allowing a low chuckle to spill through the walls of his lips. It starts deep within his chest and works its way out, offering a chance for the tenacity that lives in his face to break in half.

You haven't really heard him laugh before now.

It's fairly quiet mixed in with the white noise of the night, but it's enough to warm you from the inside out. The air outdoors is cool, but the temperature around you seems to skyrocket as his low laughter encompasses you like a blanket of solace.

You take a moment to relish in the sound, letting it travel through your ears and settle comfortably into the structure of your bones.

You wish it would last longer, that Jean would laugh more often, that he would let happiness, in general, be present in his life for more than just a passing glance.

The more time you spend with him, the sadder you are starting to feel seeing him be down all the time, especially now knowing where his sorrow sources from.

After a few moments of silence, letting the deep sound of him sweep through the crisp air, you speak again, the smile on your face remaining bright. "Well, I guess that answers my question, now doesn't it?"