Aussie girl, Leila, moves to America. Repeating her senior year brings much more drama than she bargained for.
Midway through the first semester, Leila joins the senior class at Westwood High.
Leila: "A fresh start, Dad said. New beginnings, Mum sa...
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I'm not 100% sold on this crush thing.
Do Eli's lips light me up inside? Yes. Do I enjoy the sounds he makes when his tongue sweeps over mine? That's also a resounding, yes. Does a rush of emotions and warmth flood my chest along with nervous giddiness when he wraps me in his arms? Also, yes... and that's what I'm not sold on.
It's confusing. I'm not a nervous person. I have the odd anxiety or panic attack when my body goes into flight mode but otherwise, my emotions stay pretty stable. So, this makes my brain hurt. Do I need to go for a run to expel this nervous energy or do I need a cuddle? Do I need do push myself through an hour gym session or curl up with my comfort book?
The confusion is only tolerable because I can point the blame to the boy with messy dark hair and alluring green eyes that tastes like addiction.
I know what he tastes like. I know what Elijah tastes like! That's weird as fuck.
I have no idea how anyone else on this damn planet tastes, but if you asked me about Elijah, I could actually answer you... kinda. I probably wouldn't answer you. It's none of anyone else's business.
For goodness sake, I'm getting possessive over imaginary conversations.
FML.
I sent a quick text to the group chat on the way to school this morning letting my girls know that their 'too-scared-to-like-a-boy' bestie finally had her first kiss lasts night.
I had to mute the notifications.
I wish I could mute actual people sometimes though. Mase couldn't stop grinning at me and cocking his brow at Elijah. They aren't totally cool with each other yet, but I'm pretty sure they'll get over themselves and be mates soon enough. Sally didn't say anything but by the way she wouldn't make eye contact with me for too long in class this morning, kinda gave her away. And, well, Mica was in the car when Elijah had me pressed against it so...
I know I should tell Dani but I'm nervous. I mean, it's not like we're dating. He's not my boyfriend. 'Oh my goodness, do I even want a boyfriend!?'
That's been my whole MO. Don't date until you're ready.
Am I ready?
Fuck, I don't know.
'You like him enough to let him kiss you.'
"Ugh." Tapping the open book against my forehead in frustration I silently reprimand my idiot self. I hate this version of me. So unsure of myself that I question someone else's actions without just asking them outright.
I could totally do that though, couldn't I? Just walk up to Elijah and ask him, "Hey, mate," Yea, nah. Don't use mate. "Hey, Eli, do you like me? Cause, I kinda like you but don't know if I want to date you. Do you want to date me? You probably don't want to, hey."
