Soft Innocence (Shattered Pieces Series #3)

Chapter 1

Love

"Leave my house if you cannot respect my daughter!"

Umalingawngaw ang boses ni Dad sa buong pamahayanan nang banggitin niya iyon. Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat. Hindi ko alam ang nangyayari dahil pababa pa lamang ako ng hagdan.

"But she's not your daughter!"

My heart ache by that. I am aware that dad is not my biological father but still, respeto nalang sana. It hurts knowing that the man who dressed, loves, and treated me as his own was not my real father. I sometimes wished na sana siya nalang, sana nga siya nalang para mas magaan sa pakiramdam, para mas masarap tanggapin yung mga ibinibigay niya sa akin.

I don't understand why they kept on shoving into our faces that I am not his real daughter, we are not related by blood but the bond that we have is more than their so-called family.

I will be honest, it breaks the hell out of me when they are saying that I am not his. I am aware but I treated him as my father and I know that he did the same too. Mahirap bang respetuhin ako? O kahit man lang ang desisyon ni dad?

"She is my daughter," matigas at puno ng otoridad na saad ni Dad.

Napakagat ako ng aking labi nang magtama ang paningin namin nila Tita. They look like they hate me so much. Parang gusto nila akong isuka sa pamilyang ito.

"Ano ba kasi ang ginawa sa'yo ng ina ng batang iyan at ganyan mo 'yang mahalin?"

Please... stop.

My biological mother is my dad's great love. Real, drowning, and painful. That's how I see their love. Their love is not the most beautiful yet the pain makes it wonderful.

Ever since Mama left, dad never consider of marrying someone again. Kung hindi si Mama, hindi nalang. Si Mama at si Mama lang dapat ang mamahalin niya habang buhay. Walang iba kung hindi si Mama.

Tuwing nagku-kwento siya tungkol sa pagmamahal niya kay Mama, mas lalo akong natatakot magmahal. Hindi dapat katakutan 'yun pero takot na takot ako. Mahal na mahal ni dad si Mama at ayaw ko ng ganitong pagmamahal. If I were to love, I want the love who give, the love who forget. I don't want this kind of love. Ayaw kong mahirapan ako kung ako man ang maiiwan at ayaw kong mahihirapan ang maiiwan ko. It is great but tiresome.

Maybe someone will think that I am a fool to not accept that kind of love. I am just afraid. It was destructive. Ayokong masisira ako, ayokong masasaktan kami. Ayaw ko ng may mahihirapan dahil sa akin.

Siguro tama na 'yung nagdusa si Dad dahil kay Mama. Ayoko nang makakita pa ng isang taong kagaya niya. He was not miserable but he was not happy.

"You good, Rai?" tanong sa akin ni Jake. Naglapag siya ng kape sa aming lamesa at cupcake.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Matabang kong saad habang pinaglalaruan ang kutsarita na nakalubog sa aking tasa.

I am lost in thoughts. Dad's situation kept on running in my mind. Maybe it is not too late to find someone for him. I want him to be happy. He's still young for love. Wala namang pinipiling oras at panahon ang pagmamahal.

"Jake, what kind of love do you want to feel?" tanong ko rito. I looked up from my coffee.

"I want to feel the love where I can give my all. Yung walang matitira dahil gusto kong maramdaman niyang nandito lang ako para sa kaniya."

"How about you then? Paano nalang kung wala ngang matira? It is destructive, Jake. You will only find yourself in shattered pieces?"

"Hmm. But isn't that love? Rai, if you are in love you will not be afraid of anything. It is not destructive or the way you address it. It was just simply love, Rai."