Disoriented Cosmos {A Torchwood Story} [COMPLETED]

27. What, And I Say This Nicely, The Fuck

I wake up from my doze, finding my head to be resting on Owen's chest. I look up to see him on his phone sloped on the sofa, keeping me propped up whilst reading the news. He looks down at me and smiles.

"Good nap?"
"Why did you let me sleep on
you?" I ask curiously, leaning up and sitting next to him.
He shrugs. "You were comfortable
What kind of doctor would I be if I wasn't making others comfortable?"

I furrow my brows, and decide that enough is enough. Owen has been oddly nice the past few weeks, and I want to know why. He's usually quite a dick.

"Owen," I begin, and he turns off his phone and chucks it on the coffee table to look at me, "why are you being uncharacteristically nice to me all of a sudden?"

He opens his mouth slightly, making him look like he's preparing a whole speech, then says casually, "Look, I... I've come to realise, these last few weeks, that I like you. Yanno, more than friends. And it's kinda weird to me, yanno, what with Torchwood and what happened to me and what happened to you, but I was just tryna be better to you cuz I realised I'm a bit of a twat sometimes."

I freeze for a long moment before blinking continuously. What? Owen likes me?

The first thing to come out my mouth is, "Why?"
He shrugs, acting casual. "Well, you know, you're fun to be around, and caring, and you helped me when I came to Torchwood, and you're badass, and you can down a pint quicker than lightning." I snigger at the last one, then grow serious as he now is locked onto my eyes with the most sombre expression I've seen him in. "Evelina... I really like you. And it's weird. But... what do you say?"
"Say to what?"
"I don't know, what's your response to all this?"

I'm hit with a sneak attack wall of emotion. This is... really sweet? But it's coming from Owen? And he seems... serious? Is he okay? I manage to stutter out, "I... don't, really know how to respond to this," and in a flash his face falls before rearranging it into an unaltered shrug.
"Okay. I was just telling you, never mind."

I add quickly, desperately, "Owen, believe me, it's not like I don't find you attractive. It's just... I really don't know how to respond to this. I mean, we work together, we live together. And even though you've been doing really well on the past front, I kinda haven't - I mean, I still tense up if someone touches me when I'm not expecting it. I don't know what you want from me, but if it's a relationship, it'll be a pretty shit one."

Owen raises his eyebrows. "I didn't know you felt like that. Evy, I'm sorry if I've touched you or bumped you or anything..."
I shake my head, "No, it's fine. You're okay with all that," and he exhales in relief, then looks into my eyes again.

Seemingly without thinking, he says, "I wish you could see your eyes better in this light: they're almost alive right now; there's all this pink and blue swirling together like a cosmos. Evelina Cosmo Firestone... good choice of middle name."

Seemingly without thinking I say, "I think I want to kiss you," then slap my hand over my mouth. I should not have said that, especially after my big speech.
Owen just watches me, confused. "Right, so... you don't wanna be in a relationship with me, but you find me attractive and you wanna kiss me?"

"I don't knooowww," I moan like a teenager, flopping over his lap dramatically, and he smirks handsomely again. "I don't know how I feel. On one hand, I know how I feel. On one hand, I know I can't handle anything right now. But on the other hand-"

"Do you just wanna kiss me, and see how it goes from there?" he interrupts. My mouth grows into a grin, because goddammit, I kinda like the sound of that.

I shuffle a little closer to him, firmly stating with my body language that I'm the leader here. He obeys, and waits until I've placed a hand on his cheek to slowly inch his arm safely round my waist, looking into my slightly dilated pupils to check if this is okay. It is, so I let him, then his other hand goes to my hair and I involuntarily jerk back slightly.

He takes both his arms back, looking worried and guilty. "What did I do?"
It's sweet to see him give a shit about my trigger points, so I say with as much false calm as I can muster, "The waist was fine, trust me, but I'm not used to people touching my hair yet. I'm just not."

"Okay, okay," he says a bit quieter, and I shuffle forward again until we're both able to lean forward and he secures his arm round my waist again. He delicately touches my right shoulder to see if it's okay before I reach over to it and press it down gently.

We're closer than we've ever been before, and even though that one small part of me is screaming to not do it, everything else is telling me yes.

So I do. I lean in and kiss him.

He immediately presses his lips back on mine, and I feel the breath from his nostrils warm on my face. His lips taste like the strawberry lip balm he put on a few minutes ago when we hadn't crossed the line from friends to who knows what, and out of nowhere I softly bite on his lip and holy shit, it's plump even though his lips are quite thin.
He opens his mouth a little, and I take a few moments to mentally prepare myself before slipping my tongue between his lips. He pauses as if waiting to see how it pans out, before his own tongue snakes into my mouth and mingles with mine.

It's... nice. I didn't think kissing would be nice anymore. Maybe I just needed someone who listened to me and didn't just stick their tongue down my mouth. Maybe I just needed someone like him.

After a while, I feel Owen's hard-on poking into my leg which I unknowingly draped across his lap, and in a blink I've remembered all the hard-ons I'd been forced to deal with and have leaped off of him.

Owen's hands fly off of me like I'm made of fire, and I instantly say, "Sorry, sorry, I just remembered something."
His face turns from surprise to relief to concern. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No."

I think that's enough sharing for today, tongues or otherwise. Without another word I walk into our bedroom and shut the door, sit on the bed, and take several deep breaths. I can hear Owen on the other side knocking something down, swearing quietly. I take another big breath.

I don't know where to go from here.