Patience( Book Two)

Pay Attention Now

"I'm sitting on your porch screaming out

And I won't leave until you come downstairs."

_______________RAVEN__________________

Raven had faced a lot of scary things in her life, most of which still haunted her at night. She's braved it all to the best of her ability, and most of the time, come out the other end okay. And if by some chance she couldn't face it alone she always had Charlie or Marina. But, now, Raven was facing the scariest monster of them all and she'd pushed everyone far enough away that she was alone. The monster in the room could be called several things. Maybe it was the alcoholism, or the depression or the self sabotage but Raven mostly thinks it was just the disappointment in Charlie's eyes that did her in.

Charles stood beside Erik, his arms at his side and his eyes conveying a multitude of emotion. He looked exhausted, the type of exhausted that wasn't just skin deep. His eyes were dull and bags darkened his speckled skin. His shaggy hair was messy and unstyled, sticking out in different places. He wore a hoodie and jeans, looking like he'd been awoken and rushed rather quickly. Raven supposed in reality, that's exactly what happened. Charlie was being shown paperwork that he began to sign, it all was happening in slow motion for Raven. None of this felt real.

"Thank you, Jacob," Erik nodded, his voice held no spite or ill will. How do you just move on like that? Raven thought.

"No problem, we all have our days. Glad to see you two doing well," Jacob cleared his throat and motioned between Charlie and Erik.

"Yeah, things worked out alright for us, we'll have to have you and Vanessa over sometime. Catch up," Charlie cut in looking over with a smile.

"Oh, uh, yeah I'd like that. Thank you," Jacob smiled softly.

"Okay, Officer Westbrook she's good to go," The front desk lady waved the forms in the air. Raven's heart shook in her chest.

"Alright, let's go home." Charlie spoke with an exhausted smile and took Raven's hand softly. He looked at her in the eyes, and his expression was hard to read. It was disappointment per se, something like a familiar sadness. And then it hit her, those were the eyes he used when looking at their mother. Raven choked down an increasing panic in her throat. The cycle...

Charlie squeezed her hand as if to let her know it would be okay, like he somehow knew where her mind was wondering. Somehow for Raven, that was worse than if he had just yelled at her.

The ride home was quiet, the silence being broken by the steady rumble of music from the car speakers and Erik whispering things to Charlie as he drove. To an outside eye Charlie looked calm, collected even, but to those who knew him the iron grip he held on the steering wheel was a dead giveaway. Raven couldn't imagine the shitstorm she caused in his head, what old wounds had she opened back up. Her mind spiraled, feeling worse about itself.

"Where's Roslyn?" Charlie finally broke the silence, looking at Raven through the rear view. At this angle all she could see were his piercing blue eyes, she shrunk further into herself.

"She's gone," Raven responded, her voice raspy and cracking.

"And how are we feeling about that?" Charlie asked kindly. Raven wanted to scream at him for that, any normal person would have been snarky or rude. A normal person would have laughed and said 'good riddance!' And moved on. But not Charlie, he was always making sure Raven was alright, even in matters like this. Where did I lose that part of myself? Where did that go?

"I'm fine." Raven shrugged.

"That mean you're staying at the Estate again?"

"If you'll have me," Raven whispered. Charlie cleared his throat.