Never Let Go ✔️

Chapter 33

Date: Thursday, April 7th

Sophia was starting to feel better after Monday. As soon as they got home Sophia immediately started to push Luke away again. As for her constipation, she has finally had a bowel movement but since constipation has been in her health history Michael and Calum are going to keep a closer eye on it to make sure she doesn't get constipated again.

This morning Sophia asked Luke where Ben was and he told her the truth but not the whole truth. She was worried about why he wasn't answering her texts for a few days. Luke told her it's because he is undercover and left it at that. Which was true but technically Ben was undercover to catch the guys who are after their dad.

—----------------

"Hey Luke, buddy are you ok?" Ashton asked him. He noticed that Luke looked deep in thought.

"No. Not really. I hate that I have to keep my dad's situation a secret from Sophia. I only wanted to keep it from here until we got the full situation but now that we know. I want to tell her. She deserves to know. I'm nervous that if she somehow finds out from someone other than me she will be so upset with me," Luke said, looking at Michael, Calum, and Ashton.

"Then why don't you tell her?" Calum asked him.

"Because I made a promise to both my dad and Ben that I wouldn't tell her. I think it's wrong but you guys know me. I don't break promises....ever," Luke said, disappointed.

"Luke, some promises are best to be broken especially if the information you think is being kept from someone is information that should know. In this case, Sophia," Ashton said.

"Yeah I know but," Luke started to say but was cut off.

"But you don't like to break promises with family. We know and completely understand. If Sophia does find out and you tell her that you made a promise then I am sure she would understand. She will probably be upset but she wouldn't be angry with you," Michael said.

"I hope you are right. By the way Michael I need to talk to you later about Sophia's treatment," Luke said.

—--------------

Sophia decided she needed to talk to Ashton and Luke wasn't opposed to it. He actually encourages it. Hopefully whatever is bothering her Ashton will be able to help his little sister. He could maybe help finally bring back the Sophia that he knows.

"Sophia, is there something bothering you? Is there something specific that you want to talk about?" Ashton asked her as he sat down across from her.

"Um yeah. What I say here stays confidential right?" Sophia asked.

"Yes that's right," Ashton said. He was starting to get concerned.

"Ok good. If something bad ever happens to me such as I die I give you permission to tell Luke everything I am about to say if you feel like he should know the truth but I hope you don't, considering it will probably just hurt him which is the exact reason why I am doing what I am doing now," Sophia said looking at Ashton.

So many thoughts were running through Ashton's mind. He thought she was going to discuss what happened on Monday. He thought she finally processed what happened and was not letting it control her anymore but he was wrong. He felt bad for Sophia because of everything she has been through. However, Ashton had a feeling that she wasn't about to discuss what happened Monday with him.

"Ok so I don't know if Luke has said anything to you about how I have been acting but it's just that acting. I am being rude to Luke on purpose. I am trying to push him as far away as I can and make him hate me," Sophia said looking at Ashton and then at the ground.

Ashton was stunned. The only thing he could say was, "Why?"

"He doesn't know this but after our mom died I knew he tried to stay strong around me but one night I saw him break down crying. I also noticed that he wasn't himself for a while. I don't want him to be like that when I die. I want to save him from that pain. The only way I can think of to save bin from the pain is by pushing him away and making him hate me. Even though that is the complete opposite of what I want. Ash, I need Luke. I am terrified and I need my older brother but that's selfish of me. I need to do what is best for him."

Ashton wanted to cry. Sophia is a 15-year-old girl that has cancer. She is terrified. She should be wanting her brother around not pushing him away. The last thing she should be thinking about is Luke's feelings. Luke wouldn't want her to do that for him.

"Soph, Luke wouldn't want you to push him away. You shouldn't have to worry about him and his feelings. You should be worried about yours. Needing him is not selfish of you at all. You are a child with cancer. That is a scary fight for anyone let alone a child. You need your family and right now the only family in town is Luke and Sierra. You should be leaning on them not pushing them away," Ashton said, now sitting right next to Sophia.

"I know I shouldn't but I want to. I want to save him from the pain. It will be the last present I ever give him when I die," Sophia said with some tears in her eyes.

"Sophia, no, look at me," Ashton said sternly. Sophia looked up at him,

"Stop saying when you die. It's an if you die and as far as I know, Michael is very optimistic about you beating this so you will be living for a very long time. So do you really want to keep pushing Luke away?"

"There's still a chance I die so yes I do want to keep pushing him away. It's for his own good," Sophia said, now crying a little.

Ashton thought for a moment and then said, "this may sound blunt but you are doing the exact opposite of what you are attempting. You aren't lessening his suffering but you are making it worse. I can tell that your deteriorating relationship is causing Luke to suffer right now in the present. Don't you want to make Luke as happy as you can for as long as you can so he has no regrets and can look back on his time with you and smile?"

Sophia stayed silent but tears were falling down her face.

"Soph, please just think about what I said. I really hope you change your mind," Ashton said and pulled Sophia into a comforting hug.

Ashton was heartbroken not only for Sophia but also for Luke. If Luke knew what Sophia was doing he would be so upset. Ashton also knows whatever Sophia does Luke would never hate her... EVER. He loves Sophia more than anyone else. Their deteriorating relationship is the last thing Luke has ever wanted.

Ashton really wishes he could tell Luke so Luke could talk to Sophia but he is forbidden to due to patient-doctor confidentiality. Ashton just hopes Sophia will come to her senses and stop pushing Luke away but Ashton has very little hope that she actually will. She is a stubborn little girl and is always worrying about others before herself. He just wants to get it into Sophia's head that Luke would absolutely not want her to do this even if the intention was to spare him pain because it's not going to work.
—---------------

"Hey Luke, what did you want to talk about?" Michael asked walking into Luke's office where Luke was sitting at his desk.

"I can't stand seeing Sophia in so much pain every time she does chemo. I know she hates needles and having to be poked with one at least three times each day she does chemo is heartbreaking," Luke said looking at Michael who just sat down in front of him.

"Ok, so what are you saying?" Michael asked.

"I'm saying that I think we should talk to her and see if she would want a chemo port. I talked it over with Sierra last night and weighed the pros and cons and we decided that the pros outweigh the con's," Luke said.

"Ok. When are you planning on talking to her?" Michael asked.

"I was thinking you and I could talk to her on Monday. I don't want to bring it up until after her spring formal," Luke said.

"That sounds like a good idea," Michael said.