you ruined us.

001

Vinnie and Billie are my absolute best friends. me and vinnie aren't as close as me and Billie but that's not to say we aren't extremely close because we are both originally from Washington. I love them both more than life omg.

maggie used to live out here with Patrick and finn but they moved to la after billie was born. they came back to visit when me and Vin were in 3rd grade and we became inseparable we literally FaceTimed on our tablets for yearsss.

my family moved to la the summer before my freshman year, which I was ok with since me and Vin couldn't go to the same school for highschool since Maria had wanted him to go to an all boys catholic highschool.

I was so excited to see billie in person after not being around her for 6 years. I've been seeing her differently lately, because let me tell you, this bitch is beyond beautiful. Like. She is the most gorgeous human I've ever laid eyes on. so obviously i was excited to see her.

she caught me staring before and that shit is awkward as fuck, but she's just so pretty it's hard not to. It's not like I have a crush on her or anything, a complete lie. That can never happen. She doesn't even like me as her friend sometimes so how would she ever like me as more than that?

I've been thinking about us a lot lately.. about how her smile makes me weak.. about how I can't sleep without her.. and how much I hate seeing someone else hug her or even make her laugh.. fuck I'm screwed.

she even helped me understand who I am, she taught what being nonbinary was and what queer was as a whole. she supported me the whole way through.

I've been trying to find a way to tell billie how I feel but I'm terrified of what she'll say.

billie and I were chilling in her room when an interesting topic came up..

"yo lijah" billie said biting her lip in thought. (lord she looks good) "yeah?"
"do you ever get tired of being alone?"
"not really, you're always up my ass so I don't get to be alone." I said with a laugh towards the end "first off fuck you. second, I don't mean physically alone, I mean like, idk, I just hate being single rn" she fidgeted with her hands as she slowly mumbled that out.

"you know you can have whoever you want whenever you want right?" "No I can't lijah" she fake laughed "and how do you figure that? your fine ass can pull like a motherfucker I swear to god." I chuckled
"there's one person excluded from that then cause they want nothing to do with me.. in that way, the way I want them.." she Said sadly ".. because I swear, they make me wanna drop to my knees and-" she was cut off with me saying "billie I really don't wanna know what you would do to this mystery person. who is it btw?" I asked trying to sound like a curious friend rather than a jealous wanna be..

"Jesus christ I am never telling you, I physically cannot." she said with a smirk "it's not like I'm gonna kill them or something.." I can't promise that ".. maybe just shake em up a bit" I winked at her

she stared into my eyes and licked her lips, she kept looking at my lips and I got too flustered so I had to look away. she cackled at the pink tint painted on my cheeks. I swear she's always fucking with me, we play chicken with eachother way too often.

there was this one time we were playing chicken.....

(if you don't know what chicken is, it's a game where you flirt w someone and do somewhat sexual shit until one of u chickens out)