Across the Lake

Chapter 7

It was the next day and I would find ways to cope with my emotions over the news from last night. I know how much playing guitar meant to my dad, and it was my destiny to fulfill that wish. I'd set my goals on learning new songs on the guitar daily. This seemed to be my way of coping with things as I couldn't go outside without bursting into tears. Seeing the looks on other families as they have fun made me feel all sorts of ways.

     Claire would visit me from time to time to make sure I was okay as usual, while my mom would be pacing around the house anxiously. I wanted to be like my sister Claire, to be strong enough to take tough news like this without breaking down. The truth is, it was hard to accomplish. There was a lot of anxiety filling me up again. Something I didn't have much of for ages now. I know by fulfilling my destiny of being a great guitar player, it would make my dad happy.

     I'd think about college for a while as I used to be a great guitar player back in high school. Lots of people seemed to enjoy my skills for what it was, even though I could never see it myself. I would used to play this thing daily, even when I thought it was not something I would be good at. I'd doubt my skills as I was pessimistic. I never saw the good side of things until I finally moved here. But now that we're here, it's time to be who I was destined to be.

     I'd grab my guitar and bring it outside and sit on a chair near the lake. I'd look at the lakes tides as I strummed away, without a thought in mind. Knowing I have to face the facts of the situation. Claire would eventually walk out and stand right next to me, with her arms crossed, looking up at the sky as I played. She'd stay quiet as she listened to me play. With a smile on her face, I know I was doing the right thing after all.

     Eventually more people would walk up to listen. I wouldn't know until I turned around to a bunch of people looking amazed at what they saw. This would warm my heart as I didn't realize how good I was playing until now. I'd play up until midnight where I would stop. Every person would clap including my sister who grinned as she teared up.

     I'd smile from ear to ear as I'd get up and thank everyone for tuning in. They'd all walk off while my sister stayed next to me until they all left. "You did amazing." She'd say as she hugged me. "I told you, your skills are something else." She continued to say as I felt tears fill up my eyes. "It means a lot to me." I'd say as we'd hug for a bit longer before letting go, and heading inside.

     My mom would still be pacing around the house by the time we closed the door. Claire would tell me to go in my room as she'd help comfort her for the night. I'd nod my head as I went in my room to put my guitar back in my case. Feeling emotional as I've done it. Knowing my dad won't ever get to hear me play guitar live someday, made me feel all sorts of ways. But I know he would still be proud of me.

     I'd lay down and just think about everything that's happened tonight. It felt like a fever dream to me as someone who had issues thinking good of themselves. I will always feel good inside as I know everyone is proud of me, and who I want to be. Nothing will stop me in my journey to become a guitarist in the future, to make my parents proud, especially my dad. This would be on my mind for now as this was the way I need to go.