Across the Lake

Chapter 9

It was finally time to face what was to come today. My mom and sister weren't prepared for it, but I tried to be prepared. I couldn't stop what happened, and I wished things ended for the better. When it was time to finally say goodbye, everyone was in tears including myself. It was hard for everyone here, including family who flew all the way here to say their goodbyes. It wasn't easy, and it never ever will be easy. Before we went I'd promise him, even though he wasn't here, I would fulfill what he wanted me to do.

     While we spent most of our day there, I expected to be way more emotional than I was. I was really emotionally prepared this time. So I wouldn't run away again and upset more people in the process. When we walked out, everyone was in total silence. Nobody wants to ever see their loved ones go through this. But it certainly changed all of us, including me and Claire. I would never have imagined playing my guitar so frequently.

     I think throughout all of this trauma, and emotional pain. We all learned that staying together was best for all of us. Spending way more time together, and being a real family. This was my goal by the end of all of this. By the time we went home, my mom needed a lot of time to herself to cope through this situation. I would continue with my guitar, and my sister would continue her writing. It seems to help us cope in times of need. Which, to get over this, we need a lot more than that in our daily lives.

     I'd find other ways to cope with my emotions, such as writing them down. When I wouldn't practice guitar, this would be my way of coping. Therapy was also an option that seemed like a good route for me in the future. After I wrote my feelings in a book I had stored away, I'd go outside. I took in all of the air and saw the beautiful clouds filling the sky. I'd slowly walk around and took it all in again. It didn't feel the same without him around, but I know he would still be proud.

     After walking around the lakes, I'd meet up with Laurie again. She seemed excited to get to practice today. I just wasn't feeling up to it and she understood. I promised to practice tomorrow and she got excited again. "Whenever you want to, you know where to find me!" She'd say as she joined me on my walk. She knew about what happened and felt bad for me. I told her it was a huge process, but in the end, I had to make my dad proud.

     She'd be there to comfort me in these hard times, and it's all I needed. I never expected to be in this situation where I wouldn't be so happy. Life sometimes sucks, and it's something I have to realize sometime soon. Life doesn't always give you good things, and sometimes takes things away from you. It's always a process, a hard one at that. To be able to overcome them makes you a stronger person. This is what I began to think about.

     When we were almost done walking, I thanked her for sticking around lately. I didn't see Paige much again after that, I just hoped she was doing okay. The last time I seen her was when she told me about how she wishes to be closer to her sibling. I'd hope she was doing okay as I went back inside. It got dark out super quickly and I didn't feel good about staying outside with my emotions alone. I still had to learn to trust myself again.

     My mom was waiting for me in my room when I got inside, and it surprised me. I barely saw her around lately besides visiting my dad for the final time. She was quick to hug me and make sure I was doing okay before leaving the room. We talked for a while about things and how much he meant to her, and I'd say how much he meant to all of us. She started crying at that moment, and it's where I'd comfort her in these hard times. Hoping the pain would someday unravel for all of us.