secrets ,, [성훈]

secrets ━ chapter four

- Sunghoon's story/pov -

time jump - 15 years ago (he is 20 years old currently)

i sat on the floor of my late mothers nursery, as my father entered the room. i was only 5 years old when she passed away from kidney failure. my father was a mess, and as the newest mafia boss, this only made his heart harden more. he squatted down next to me, my eyes on his. "mommy's gone, Hoonie." he said with little emotion, but hurt in his eyes.
i already new what he meant. i was an intelligent little boy. i didn't need help figuring out why my father was upset, and why mommy wasn't home yet. my father then got up, leaving me with the nanny to play with my toys. from that point on i could feel a shift in my father. nothing would be the same.

time jump - 10 years ago

i was now 10. it had been 5 years since the death of my mother, and 5 years since my father turned. by turned i mean into an almost different person. he now was angrier then ever, constantly talking about who owed him what, who must die, and what was next. he was a busy man, but he most importantly worked on training me. i was only 10 when my father first had me hold and fire a gun, killing a man.
the man owed my father money, and didn't pay him back, so we killed him. i killed him. from then on, i lost all sincerity and emotion. just as my father had become and his fathers before him, i was now a cold blooded killer. and the scariest part was i saw it as fun. fun. some days i try to convince myself that i used to find it fun because i was brought up that way, constantly being surrounded by it, but deep down i always knew, i enjoyed what my father and i did.
he also had me learn to bargain, threaten, aim, torture, and steal. you name it. before i knew it, i was now 11, killing almost 20 people. and then 12, with over 50, and then 13, close to 70 humans. and i didn't feel bad, and neither did my father. after all, business is business, right?

time jump - 5 years ago

it was now my 15th birthday. my father and i had grown a bit further apart as i stopped helping out with the business as much, starting to get a heavy conscience about what i was really doing. "are you kidding me Sunghoon? stop? what the hell has gotten into you boy. you do as i say or we do it the hard way. just because your my son doesn't mean you can have whatever you want." he growled at me. i responded, saying, "but-" and immediately regretted it after my father threw a punch, hitting me square in the jaw. a surge of pain cursed through my head. my father had hit me. his son.
i sat on the floor, knocked from my chair, and scared out of my mind. he just stared at me, my face bleeding. he then rubbed his knuckles and left the room. from that point on in my life, i would do what my father asked of me, regardless of how i felt, because i was terrified of that man.

time jump - 2 weeks ago

i continued doing work for him, and was now CEO of my dads day job. he owned the company HYBE Electronics. the business skyrocketed, becoming one of the biggest in Seoul. only the people closest to him new what he was really doing, the other employees unsuspecting of anything.
"son! i think since you are now CEO, you need to find yourself an assistant. i had one of my men do some research on some beautiful women who already work at the company, but want you to choose yourself. look away!" he said winking. "ah- alright father, i will. thank you." i said, grabbing the files and heading to my office.
there were several beautiful woman that i saw, but none of them caught my eye quite like Lee Y/N's did. the way her H/C hair was the perfect length for her face shape, and her stunning eyes sparkled. not to mention her figure was exquisite. i was falling just from one photo. this feeling i got was new to me. because of the work i did, love was never introduced to me. was this love...
i turned in Y/N's name to my father, and he nodded, telling one of his men to email her, telling her about her promotion. for what felt like the first time ever, i felt something other then anger and guilt.
________________________

time jump - night of the dinner party

AH! this miss Lee Y/N has me going crazy. we've been dancing away, laughing smiling, and staring. i think im in love... i wonder if she feels the same. but even if she did, who am i kidding? im in the mafia. there is no way that a girl like her would ever forgive me for something like that. anyways...i hope she found the restroom okay. it's been a little while... oh here she comes. wait- she looks sickly. did something happen?
i rush over to her, she looks as though she saw a ghost. we head into the lobby area, by the elevator and before i know it, Y/N is screaming.
she found out. oh shit. oh shit. panic and thoughts were rushing through my brain as i realized what i've done. why did i give her that list? why did i call her boyfriend? why am i like this? after she finishing yelling, tears streamed down her face, and eventually mine too. she ran off, saying she never wanted to see me again.
damn it! why did i push away the only thing i've ever loved? it's...this job. all because of this. all because of my sick self. i am done. no more masks. i'm no longer terrified of my father. i am not living this way anymore, and i am not loosing Y/N.

- end of Sunghoon's story/pov -