Sad Book of Poetry

I hate being myself

I hate being myself,

weak, hiding behind my sleeves,

dreading summer coming,

unable to do the things I did last summer,

like swimming.

All because of a few scars,

that are multiplying every day.

I hate myself,

who comes to the internet for help,

but when someone who loves me asks if I'm okay,

I'll say I'm fine.

I hate myself,

who is the heaviest girl in the locker room,

the only one who isn't skinny.

I hate being the only kid,

who can't control my temper,

who pushes others away,

because I tried to die.

I'm sorry I existed,

I'm sorry I was born.

I hate that I cry in secret,

not brave enough to do it in front of others.

I hate myself for my scars,

I hate myself for causing others pain.

I hate myself for being the bully,

I hate being the abuser and the victim.

hate myself for not wanting help,

I hate myself for cutting.

I hate myself for every mistake I've made,

I hate myself for not being a good older sister.

I hate myself for not being a good girlfriend,

I hate myself for being bi.

I hate myself for everything that is wrong,

I hate myself for being sad.

I hate myself for being lonely.

I hate myself for everything.

And this is how I honestly feel.