Kpop sickfic/hurtfic

🖤 JIN - stress - part 1

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

-self harm.

Being the oldest takes so much responsibility and Jin can't handle all the pressure that everyone puts on him. He knows that they don't mean it and it never bothered him until now.

Recently he is getting exhausted since the comeback is very close and they have to learn new songs and learn their dance. It was not easy getting up early every single morning to make breakfast anymore since they normally come back from dance practice really late.

Dance practice doesnt always go well since he was a slow learner. He learned to accept that he was a slow learner and knew that he has to do more practice than the other members. He wished he was like J-hope or Jimin who learn the dance so quickly and can focus on other things and just improve their skills

He feels like everyone is walking forward but he was stuck to the ground not making any progress. Like hands where grabbing him and voices kept screaming to him that he should be better.

He hated being a slow learner and he can't even go against it. Armies thought that he was and said that he was the worst dancer of the group but what hurts more is that the members are getting blinded by their stress and showing how annoyed they were towards him instead of helping him like they normally would.

Jin was heart broken the way they look at him as soon as he made a mistake was too much for him. He was the oldest he should be teaching them not the other way around.

Every single mistake that he done they would always point out how he was the oldest it was getting to him.

Jin pov

The loud alarm started ringing but I was already awake. The voices in my head could not stop for one second.

The worst part is that we got a concert today. I did get the dance at the end, but I don't think I will be able to do it infront of so many people.

I got up and brushed my teeth, normally I would do skin care but what's the point on doing skin care when people already hate you enough.

Than started to make breakfast. I enjoyed making breakfast for everyone since it calmed me down but now it was my nightmare

What if they didn't like it

What if I put too much salt

What if they get even more annoyed at me

Thoughts were running through my head. It was exhausting. But no one was awake yet so I quickly went to my and yoongi's shared bathroom and got my little blade.

It was the only way that my thoughts would shut up. Only if I do 10 cuts per arm. It has to be to be 10 on each arm. The worse part is that I cant control how deep they would be.

It depends how bad the voices were.

I ran to the bathroom. As fast but as quietly as I could. Got my blade and cut
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Than the other arm
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I could feel my breathing calming down as the voices stopped. I washed my arms and the sink and got back to doing breakfast.

One by one one everyone woke up, got ready than sat at the table. As they started eating I went ot change. "HYUUUUNNGG WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE"

"NEARLY DONE" I shouted back.

I put the first thing I saw which was a long sleeve pink shirt eith some black jeans. It doesn't really matter since we are going to change when we get there.

Everyone was already in the van waiting. We headed to the concert place.
Staff rushed us in and told us to change.

Since we have been living together for so long we don't have separate rooms that we change we just all change together.

I did not realise how deep the cuts were until I saw the shirts long sleeve starting to change colour.

I did not care one bit on what the others thought, I ran out of the changing room as fast as I could hoping no one saw.

Yoongi pov

I don't think no one realised however jin has been acting so strange. He looks so sad and at dance practice everyone was getting mad at him for small mistakes.

Jin never shows what his true emotions are but for me to be able to tell that he was not okey means that he was in his breaking point.

We have a concert so we went backstage and the staff gave us clothes to wear. We always change in the same room so I got used to it.

However as I as about to change I noticed Jin was spacing out. I was trying to figure out what he was thinking however he is the most unpredictable person I know.

As I was trying to figure out what was happening I saw blood on his sleeve.

Before I could say anything he ran.

Something was definetly going on and I need to find out what it is.

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I'm sorry if it's bad it's my first time and English is not my first language.

If u have any requests please put them in the comments.