just a bunch of stories about kpop idols. Most of it would probably be angst
⚠️ trigger warning⚠️
self hate
eating disorder
self harm
suicidal thoughts
maybe character death
that's all I can think of now tell me if there are more
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
A cruel lie I was told when I entered the company.
I am the oldest, I am the leader. So why can I not just do what everyone wants? Is this what Seungmin(his older brother) had to deal with every single day of his childhood. I never even bothered to even look at the inside. The amount of times I got what I wanted while he didn't?
I only just realized how selfish of me.
How can he even look at my face after what I done to him? How can he look at me every day and still put a smile on his face when I ruined his childhood?
Is he not angry?
I felt numb.
So numb I can't even understand anything. I rubbed my ears harshly in attempt to not hear my thought.
Rubbed and rubbed.
I than got off my bed, feeling my head heavier than ever before.
I stumbled towards the bathroom. Yes finally we all have our own home, but Seungkwan and Jeonghan decided to live under the same roof.
I looked into the mirror, just to see blood pouring out of my ear, I guess I rubbed my ears way to hard.
I quickly got a the toilet paper and applied pressure on my ear since it was most likely a cut.
Great start to my birthday. I chuckled before looking in the mirror again just to see my eyes are puffier and very red.
I brushed it out of my mind, before getting my phone just to see a few missed calls. A few missed calls but many messages.
I saw it was the members and millions of Carats on weverse.
I wanted to smile so much, I wanted to.
But I never felt so low.
I never felt so low ever before.
My heart never felt like this before.
It ached every single second.
My problems are just getting bigger and bigger in my head, and realizing I didn't feel happy at all, it made me realize that all the hard work that they put on, was for nothing.
Tears poured out of my eyes, while my knees gave up on me. I shut my eyes as hard as I can to attempt to cut off my tears, but it got worse and worse, my breath hitched and became uneven in a matter of seconds.
I quickly went to my contacts and called my brother.
The deafening ring started to play, making me even more anxious.
