Kpop sickfic/hurtfic

🖤 Heeseung- overworking

This will not be accurate to what happened in iland, since I never actually watched it because I hate shows like that but I did watch snippets but it won’t be anything similar.

Iland is one of the most stressful moment a person can have. No matter how much you think about it everyone you compete with has the same dream. If you fail you might feel bad about yourself, if you debut at the end you might feel bad for the others. However, no one thinks about that, there is too much to think about beforehand than what you will do if you debut.

Heeseung pov

The stress has been increasing a lot. I have practised so hard for so long and this dance of fake love might ruin everything. All the mistakes that could happen did happen. We just have to hope that in the final performance everyone does well; No matter how good of a dancer you are, there is always space for mistakes.

But hearing that we are the group that he is the most worried about, makes me feel empty.

The check-up was awful.

Not matter how much I think about it because on how bad we did we are gonna have every contestant perform in front of each other with the dance instructor before the actual thing when everyone is recording. I guess they really do think we are gonna do that bad.

We have to check with every single group. Perform in front of them, but knowing that we did bad makes me anxious. We just finished practising Everyone did well… but not me. Not as good as I want to be. I guess I do have to stay after practice, I need to do better.

“okay lets go and take a break, I can’t wait to feel my bed” said Sunoo, as he was stretching his arms. I could see everyone was exhausted, we have practised for so long, I am not surprised

“I think I am going to stay behind, for a bit and just make notes on how we can improve, Ill come back later”

I said with the brightest smile I could force out of my exhaustion.

They tried to convince me but they know that, no matter how much we think about it we did do mistakes, so I guess they did let me off for once. I went to the big speaker and started playing fake love. I put the video on loop. I have listened and watched the dance to the song so many times that I can picture it in my head now all I need to do is make my body do what my brain wants. After a few times I got the choreography all wrong, every single time.

I was angry at myself, no matter how much I think about it my dream was fading away. The distance from me and my debut is getting longer and longer. I mean I practised with TXT and they debuted before and I was not even ready. There are so many people younger than me and I can see that they are doing better than me.

After repeating the dance so many times that I could not feel my body I felt a shot of my pain in my head. It was painful but went away quickly enough I stopped the music, and checked the time… I couldn’t believe it, it was already 2 am.

Practiced finished at 7pm… The pain that I ignored for so long, suddenly hit me, as I couldn’t ignore it. I decided to go to bed as we have to perform, there is no point on me eating at this moment. I haven’t eaten a proper meal for so long, which I know it is bad, but can you blame me?

I saw my roommates sleeping peacefully, thankfully I didn’t wake them up. I closed my eyes, Instantly falling asleep as the pain decided to stop. I woke up to Sunghoon shaking me, “We have to get ready, in an hour we have to perform” he said as he went to get changed.

I wanted to never wake up, the pain is unbearable, I have a bad headache, and everyone today is gonna see that we are so behind. The dance instructor shouting at us, was repeating in my head, now I realize that everyone might look down at us. I have high expectations from the beginning.