Senior year is finally here for the lovely Scarlett Delmonico, she had the time of her life last year with all the ups and downs.
But at least she finally understood the reference "You have to go through hell to get to heaven."
Scarlett hadn't...
"Can I, can I just be alone for a good minute or an hour, please? "
~ Scarlett's POV ~
Today's the last day of April, which was good considering the fact that I don't trust anyone during this month. Until the very first day of the next month, then I don't trust you and I refuse to believe anything that comes out of your mouth.
But, I was bored the whole day so I just sat on the couch in the living room and turned the TV on. I went onto Netflix and searched for a show I haven't seen before, I wasn't big on Stranger Things but I really hate spoilers and being left out on conversations so I put it on.
Have you ever just sat down but there's nothing to do so you just sit there staring for now reason? It's not day dreaming but just trying to get a piece of mind, that's what's happening right now.
I didn't want to spend anytime with anyone but myself, it's not as depressing as it sounds. My phone began to ring but I really didn't want to answer.
Since I didn't feel like spending time in the house, I got up from the couch and walked up stairs to my bedroom and closed my door. Everyone was out running errands and I didn't mind the empty house.
As I walked to my closet, I looked at my vanity and stared at an old picture frame of my father, real mom and myself. I sighed and turned my focus back to the closet in hopes I'd find something that would not only resemble my emotion that I had no idea what feeling but it's fine.
Scarlett's Outfit
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I brushed my hair back and placed it into a low ponytail before grabbing my phone off the bed and walking downstairs, I grabbed my keys from the counter and left the house. The only thing that filled my empty mind would definitely be the fact that my mom is going to find out about me getting married, I didn't want her to livid but it is what it is.
I got in my car and placed my seatbelt before starting the car and driving around for a bit, I didn't have a specific place that I wanted to visit so I just drove around. Since I didn't have any music playing or anyone to talk to, I decided that I would play something just so that the air wasn't as dull as it was.
The first song to play was by The Neighborhood, Sweater Weather. I nodded my head to melody and continues to drive around, like I said I didn't have a destination.
Now I know some of y'all are probably thinking, why am I freaking out so much about my mother finding out that I'd be getting married to my boyfriend. The answer to that is I don't know, I didn't think I'd care for her opinion but I do, I even miss her sometimes.
I missed the way she laughed, the way she would listen to me sing my homemade songs and how she would help me create beats for those songs. There's nothing I could've done but text her again, I double text and call her but everything just fails.
But I refuse to blame myself for her mistakes, it was the consequences of her actions that got us here in the first place which shouldn't be my fault. So if I know it isn't my fault, why do I still curl up in a ball in bed at night and cry myself to sleep because I know she would never come back?
I hadn't even noticed I was crying until a tear drop, dropped. I sighed and turned the car around to drive back home, just so I could get my thoughts together since they're normally so cluttered.
As I parked in front of my house, I forced a deep breath and got out the car. I walked inside to be greeted by the laughter of my brother and the chatter of my parents, I smiled at them but before they could say anything, I was already upstairs.
I locked my door and got into bed, my sneakers were thrown across the room as I slipped my sweater off and dropped it by my bed. There's a lot of things I don't like about myself and a lot more that I do, one of the things I like being the fact I'm bisexual which means I swing both ways.
There was a knock at the door but I stood silent, I had left my phone in the car but had no energy to walk downstairs to get it back. It was the car's phone until tomorrow morning where I would be forced to wake up to learn about things I didn't need to learn.
But the knock didn't go away, instead was picking up the pace and it soon began to get aggravating.
" Can I, can I just be alone for a good minute or an hour, please?"
The knocking stopped and you could hear footsteps hitting the stairs, I knew it was my dad. I covered myself with my weighted blanket and shut my eyes, I laid on my soft, fluffy pillow and just hummed to the melody of Sweater Weather.
Just a small nap, it'll only be an hour...
I thought to myself as my eyes grew heavier by the second, I snuggled into the pillow and sighed as I finally fell asleep.
