What will you do? If someone approached you then pointed a gun, straight through your head saying,
"Bear my child or I will kill you? "
For Xiao Zhan. He rather agree, than to get himself killed. But the problem is?
He's not a woman. He can't bear...
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***
Madam Loraine funeral was held in peace. Yibo made sure that no one will interfere or even the media cannot make a scene.
Facing the mistress gravestone, Zhan doesn't know what to feel. The bitteness still resides in his heart refusing to leave. He urges himself not to cry. His pregnancy is surely sensitive this time. One more carelessness and they migh lose the baby. Nevertheless, Zhan kneels down affectionately caressing the cravings on that marbled stone. He then uttered a word. "Farewell."
That's all he could say. He cannot utter words of gratitude nor ask for forgiveness. Though it was shameless for him to simply said one word such as farewell, without even blinking or neither shed tears. It was as if he was insincere but deep inside, his heart bleeds. He can silently pray that Aunt Loraine's soul will be at peace. He holds on to that hope that she'll not suffer anymore and be safe no matter where she is now.
If the media might see him, rumors might resurface left and right. That he's grateful that the mistress is now gone and stories that they might have grudges against each other or that their relationship between them is a fraud, a mere facade to deceive the people around them. But Zhan didn't dwell in that matter for so long.
He thought that he could face the mistress head on but he cannot. The guilt, that he thought and believed that was gone was still there.
He could only pretend courageous and said his farewell to the mistress. Without Aunt Loraine's help maybe Yibo and him did not ended up in each other's arms. Yet, he cannot bring himself to thank her. He cannot for the shame he felt. But before he could think further, to blame himself again, degrade and curse himself. He felt another person's presence on his back.
Smelling the familiar sandalwood scent, he knew, it was no other than his husband. Yibo was holding their son, carrying him only with one arm. That unfazed handsome face remained the same but now, Yibo was looking at him worriedly. His eyes were gentle so Zhan cannot help but to smile. Instantly his anxieties and worries faded. He raised up and embraced Yibo. Xicheng even patted his head making him laugh.
"Are you alright, Baby?"
Yibo's gentle voice asked, stroking his hair making him somehow happy. He looked up and their eyes locked. In order for him not to make his husband even worried, he nodded his head and simply stated that he's fine.
One last glance then Yibo chose to go home. On the journey home everyone remained silent. Sabrina and Sulgi weren't here and Zhan decided to respect their decision, Yibo let them go so he didn't make a fuss and complain anymore. For he thought that it was for the best. Sabrina did betrayed them but she's still a part of this family. She may or may not deserved that second chance but in the end they chose to forgive and let them start a new life.
Zhan sighed. Everything had its own pace. He cannot insist and force for things to happen. Xian Le chose to stay at home and he cannot blame his younger brother. How can he appear in Madam Loraine's funeral if his mother is the one who murder the mistress? Xian Le, he's not a thick face so he cannot do that.
