Here, There and Everywhere || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 13 - Untitled

It's been three months since Sam and I have talked. I've tried to explain myself multiple times but never got a response from him. I was pissed that Jake didn't have the balls to tell him that it was his doing. At this point, it was out of my control and I was heartbroken. These past few months without him haven't been good for my mental health at all. I spent so long feeling bad for myself when I shouldn't have. I was the reason he had to deal with this pain. Maybe it's best that I'm not in his life anymore. 

I still talk to Josh sometimes and he was the first to know about my getting an offer from a record label. He called me immediately after I sent the text and he was very happy for me. While he was the first to know I wanted it to be Sam. It was hard for me to be happy about it when I couldn't celebrate it with the person I wanted to be celebrating with. A couple of weeks later Josh called to tell me that they also got an offer. I couldn't have been happier for the boys.

The label got me in with a great producer, Jordan Reeves, and he's been helping me with my album for the last month. He was amazing and made the process a lot less stressful for me. I was getting ready to meet him at the studio. Jordan loved Arlo so luckily I got to bring my girl to work with me all the time. I hooked her leash onto her collar and headed there.

"SJ! How are you doing?"

"Hey Jordan, I'm alright. Definitely ready to record some stuff."

"That's what I like to hear, we're pretty much set on Little Lies did you want to start on North Face?"

I pulled my guitar out of its case, "Perfect let's do it."

We got close to the end of our time and after thinking about it for a while I decided to give this one song a try.

"Jordan, do you mind if I try this song out? I wrote it last night, it's short but I want to see how it fits."

"Yeah let's give it a go. Do you have a name for it?"

"I tried to think of one but couldn't so I decided on Untitled," we both laughed.

"Alright, I'm ready when you are."

I started strumming basic chords on my guitar.

I make enough mistakes
And it feels like he's the only one that hears the things I say
So if for any reason there's some miscommunication or I'm lying to his face
My immaturity and habits getting in the way
'Cause I can barely breathe and I don't know how I'll explain myself this time
Wish it wasn't a case of "this time"

I was clearly in my feelings while writing this one.

But why can't I be any other girl
That doesn't need a hand in love?
Someone that I would trust
But how did I fail
To give you all the love that you deserve?
When you're the only thing that's worth
What life is worth
And I don't mind if you hate me
'Cause, baby, if I were you I would probably hate me too
I said that I don't mind if you hate me
'Cause, baby, if I were you I would probably hate me too

I got lost while singing it and didn't realize I had started crying. I had my eyes closed the entire time and when I opened them I wasn't met with just Jordan behind the glass staring at me but also the four boys I didn't want to see right now. I quickly wiped my eyes and walked out of the booth. I didn't pay them any mind and started putting my guitar back in its case while grabbing my purse and Arlo.

"SJ this is-"

"Yeah, we know each other," I said with an attitude without meaning to.

"Hey, Samira."

"Hi Joshy," I forced the best smile I could, "I'll see you soon, Jordan."

I started towards the door, "Mira can-"

I gently pushed past Sam before he could finish and walked out. Immediately tears started falling down my cheeks. I didn't push past him because I'm mad. I have no right to be. I was more so embarrassed that they saw me in such a venerable state. He wasn't supposed to hear that song, not while I was with him at least. Not to mention they all definitely knew the song was about him. I wasn't prepared to see him either, after two agonizing months I was faced with the boy I'm utterly in love with. I wanted to jump into his arms but knew I couldn't. I didn't want to let him finish talking because I truly think he is better off without me.

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I'm sorry this was a very short one but I felt bad leaving you guys on the last chapter. Not that this one ends any better lmao

<3