Enemies to Lovers|HIZZIE

I think I love her

Lizzie Saltzman Pov
it's midnight and I'm in my room after I showered I'm getting dressed in my pjs. All I think about is Hope. I don't want to like her, I can't cause she'll never fell the same about me but truth is that I would do anything to be with her but I don't wanna ruin the thing we have. I never felt that comfortable around someone not even Josie. I feel like she's my soulmate or something like that and I'm regretting all the things I've ever said to her causes it was nothing but bad. I think I love her. She's best person I know and it's really confusing that she forgave me every bad word I said to her. I'm starting crying why am I even crying it's stupid. I want her so bad. I'm slowly realizing that I've always wanted her and I was convincing myself that i hated her most, but of course i didn't. I could never hate her no matter what she'll do to me and it's scaring me I'll get hurt, I can feel that coming.
Hope knocked on the door and I told her to come in
"Hey Liz" she said softly and sat on my bed
"Hey" I said and i could feel thay my tone was kind of sad but I couldn't help it
"Have you cried or something?" she asked and i just wiped my tears away i didn't even say something i don't know what to say
"Lizzie what happened. talk to me" she said and placed her hand on my knee and I made her remove her hand off of me I don't even know why i did that
"What's wrong" she asked worriedly
"Why you even care Hope" I said and she glanced at me with disappointing look on her face
"I do care about you Lizzie just calm down okay? Why you have this mood swings i don't get it" She said like she doesn't know that I'm bipolar but my mood wasn't bad cause of bipolar disorder at this moment
"Cause I'm bipolar Hope that's why no one wants to be friends with me" I said
"You're popular in school Liz and people wants to be friends with you they're just..-" I interrupted her
"Scared of me right?" I said
"no they're just scared that you'll reject them or something cause you're pushing everyone away" She said and she was right most of people hates me in school most of them are just scared
"I feel like a shit" I said and it was true i felt so bad and i ended up crying and Hope hugged me tightly. she was playing with my hair while i was crying on her shoulder
"I can't help you if you won't tell me what actually happened Liz" She said softly and i leaned back
"I can't right now okay? I'm not ready to tell you" I said when i finally calmed down
"okay I understand" She said and started getting up
"Hope" I said and she turned around
"Yeah"
"don't leave, please" I said started tearing up again and she came closer quickly when she saw that i was about to cry
"hey i'm not leaving you I'll just get dressed for bed and I'll be here" she said and wiped my tears away

10 minutes ago
i thought Hope lied to me and she wasn't planning to come here so I felt even more bad and i started crying I don't know why i'm getting emotional over her that easily, maybe cause i love her?!
she suddenly showed up
"you cried again" she said again while getting comfortable on my bed my back was turned at her face and i couldn't just look at her cause my eyes were puffy
"look at me" she said and i turned back to look at her
"i thought you weren't coming" I said softly and she hugged me my head was laying on her chest
"why would you think that" she said and stared playing with my hair and kissing my head
"I thought you forgot about me" I said
"I would never forget about you" she said and held me even tighter it felt so good
"thank you for being here for me" I said and she smiled
"do you wanna watch something?" She asked but i wasn't really feeling like watching something so..
"is it okay if i'll say no? I just want to sleep with you" I asked and she kissed my cheek
"of course it's okay" she said
"good night Hopey" I said ane she giggled
"good night baby" She said. I don't know how she's doing that. she's driving me crazy. It won't end well.