This chapter is hard and I would appreciate it if people wouldn't judge me and give me nasty comments about it, it's a hard part of my life but I'm used to it, but I have learned to stick up for myself but I beg you not to judge me until you have heard the full story
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Nobody wanted me to act like a goody two shoes they forced me to do things or they would hurt me and say that I would go back to being bullied and hurt, so I went back to putting my mask on everyday before school, I went back to being cheeky and rude, and I hated it I was brought up to be polite, well mannered and helpful, I was ashamed.
One day I went into school after being of for a week with being sick and the doctor has prescribed me tablets to help settle my stomach but they came with side effects like drowsiness and light headedness.
I went back to school still having to take the tablets once every 2 hours, one of my 'friends' was walking with me when I realised it was time for me to take them, she was curious and asked what they where, any other 12 year old would have been curious as well and unfortunately this one girl asked and I explained the side effects, why I had to take them and she wanted one, purely because it would make her sleep.
I of course said no and I had taken the tablets that I was meant to take anyway so there was none left and as I was about to put the packet in the bin she grabbed the empty packet from my hands and tried licking it to get any residue left behind from the tablets, I looked at her with absolute disgust and astonishment, she then put the packet in the bin and begged me to bring more in the following day.
I kept making up excuse like "I can't my mum is keeping track" or "my mum told me to give them to the nurse"
2 weeks later o was no longer on the tablets but I was being pressured to bring them in, I kept saying no and I can't then one day they told me "if you don't bring some type of tablets in I will make your life a living hell" you wouldn't expect that of a 12 year old and some people won't believe me but why would I lie this is my story and I intend to tell the truth.
So the next again day I brought in my mums more stronger paracetamol it was a 650mg, and as soon as I said I had them the grabbed them out my bag and handed them out between 5 of them, later on that day I felt sick with guilt and worry, " what would my mum say if she found out" and "what of someone tells" later that day two girls came up to me and grabbed my school bag from my shoulder, and started rummaging through it, then gave it back and dropped 50p into my bag.
I was horrified I knew what they had done, they had took me as some type of drug dealer, I was mortified, I felt so defeated and horrible, near lunch time I was walking though the halls having "druggy" and "drug dealer" shouted at me, i was being pushed about and tripped up in the hallways.
I skipped class that period not because I was forced to for once but because I could face the bullying again, I went to the nurses office and said I was ill and they sent me home, I got home and everything was okay until my mum got a phone call from the school I heard her shouting and cussing so I went through to the kitchen to see her and make sure she was okay, a few minuets later she hung up the phone threw it to the ground and held me by the throat to a wall screaming "how could you" and "you worthless piece of air".
I knew at that moment what had happened, the school had somehow found out, I was taken to hospital along with all the other girls, of course rumours went around that I had nearly killed them all and that I was doing it on purpose because I was some type of psychotic murderer.
Two days after the event I was called into school and told I was excluded, later on that day the police turned up at my house and I tried to explain my side of the story but they wouldn't listen to it, I was charged and now have a criminal record, all though will be wiped can still be traceable.
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I promise I will update tomorrow, and sorry I haven't updated in a while, but this was hard. If any of you have something you want to talk about I'm here for you x
-Emmax
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