Finally I had done it I had loads of friends and people liked me but I started questioning that as soon as I was in primary 7 (10-11) where they real friends I mean I wouldn't trust them with anything, so I guess no they weren't but I needed them or I would have no one.
and that might sound selfish but going through life with no one to talk to and sitting alone is hard so I kept at it doing what they asked even when the would slap me or punch me and tell me it was just a joke.
Then I got to my first year in high school (11-12) I was finally popular, no one bullied me people where scared of me not that I would of hurt them but it felt good to know people liked me and wanted to be friends with me, I didn't realise till now that they only wanted to be friends so they could be popular.
I would act how I was expected to act I would talk back to my teachers, skip school and get detentions almost everyday and I smoked, smoking was also a reliever for me it helped calm me down when I felt bad about what I was doing, I used to get good marks in school and now I was behind everyone, so I started to go back to the old me I wouldn't skip as much I was nice to the teachers my marks where coming up, but of course some people didn't like that they told me If I wanted to be popular I had to act like one.
that's when everything bad started to happen.
short I know I'm just scared to right about the next bit I guess, the next part of this story will be hard for me to write so I'm sorry if it's not uploaded quickly, all I ask is that none of you judge me for the next part thanks.
-emmax
