Searching for Swimmers

36

"But she was here only days ago," Jason said.

"Well, I'm sorry, sir, she doesn't work here," the receptionist said.

"Maybe, Dr. Radkin, then."

"He's out of the office."

Jason sat down in one of the empty chairs in the waiting room. At least, Dr. Radkin was real. Maybe he wasn't losing his mind, after all. He walked back up to the man behind the receptionist's desk. "Can you at least confirm that a woman named Reese used to work here?" Jason asked.

"Look, sir, I'm new and—"

"Yes, I know that. You're working Reese's job."

"And whatever private beef you had with this woman is no concern of mine or CryoGenerous. You need to leave."

"Actually, the beef I have is with CryoGenerous, and you... I'll leave whenever I damn well please." Jason picked up a pencil from the man's desk. "And I'm keeping this," he said waving the pencil in the air. He turned to go back into the waiting room, paused, then turned back to the receptionist's desk. "You know, I'm not." Jason broke the pencil in half then slammed the pieces back onto the man's desk. "There! You can keep it." He stormed out the front door and sat down on the curb, head in his hands.

Jason felt like he was back at square one. The same city, the same clinic, the same lack of answers, and all he could think of were the same things that wouldn't have worked the first time. Only difference, this time, there was no Reese to give him a list.

He searched his email on his phone trying to discover her last name, but all of the emails had been sent from a generic email address with no personal sign off. He envisioned the first conversation they had back in Denver. He remembered her sincerity. He remembered her comic glibness. However, he could not remember her last name. He phoned the cabbie.

"Take me to LoveJoy's." Jason said.

"You are a quick operator. Haven't been gone but a few days and already back delivering more. Not even an hour gone by and back to the bar."

"It's not like that," Jason said.

"Hey, it's like however you say it's like. So if it's not like that, then it's like something else. That simple, chief."

"Thanks."

"Don't have to thank me, but if it's not like that, just got one thing to say."

"And?"

"Well, inquiring minds want to know. You don't have to dish, but I wouldn't mind being served."

Jason took off his seat belt and laid down in the backseat. "So, you want to know?"

The driver looked at Jason in the rearview mirror.

"Fine. I don't want to have kids. Don't want a wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a dog, a cat or any other bullshit. Regardless, on my birthday I got scared, then drunk, and decided to freeze my sperm. Fast forward only to find out that my sperm is gone. Came here to find answers but got a list. List's been marked off, but I don't believe it because I'm fucked in the head. So, come back here only to find the distributor of the list presumably fired. Now, I just want a fucking drink. There—satisfied?"

"Damn, son. Could've just left me thinking you were a Sperm Casanova. Instead, you had to lay all of that shit on me."

"Welcome to my fucking life."