Searching for Swimmers

45

Jason sat back down on Gabby's couch, his ego slightly damaged. He was no longer angry but was too embarrassed by his display to wipe the slate clean just yet. He noticed for the first time that Gabby sat on the couch with him; the smile still lingered on her face.

"Oh, come on." Gabby leaned over and slapped him on the shoulder. "Don't be such a sore sport."

Jason turned his knees and torso toward Gabby. He'd never noticed the color of her eyes before or the fullness of her cheeks when she smiled. His mood lightened, but just a bit.

"You were the one who wanted to know," Jason said.

"I'll admit that much. Yes, I did want to know."

"How would you like it if I criticized why you chose to have a baby?"

"Hey, I didn't criticize you."

"No, just broke out into hysterical laughter. I suppose you'd prefer that?"

"Fair enough. I'm not sure why I laughed like I did. Chalk it up to hormones."

"Ah, the likely excuse for all pregnant women."

"Hey, not just likely, but real and a fortunate byproduct of having to deal with the struggle of incubating a life, only to be in agonizing pain when it spits out of you while simultaneously tearing your vagina. So, yeah, if the excuse is all we get, so be it and good for us, because we're enduring a lot. Something you'll never have to endure."

"Or get to."

"Like men would ever trade places."

"I wouldn't, but some might."

"Any man that, through some act of magic, was allowed to carry a child would be screaming for his genie before his first puke hit the toilet, begging for his second wish."

"No need to convince me."

"What would you wish for?" Gabby asked.

While Jason thought about the question, he noticed Gabby's body relax and shift in his direction. "That's easy, what everyone would wish for—"

"You can't say more wishes. Everyone knows no genie in her right mind would grant that wish."

"Why does the genie have to be female?"

"Why? That's dumb. Haven't you ever seen I Dream of Jeanie?"

"Haven't you ever seen Aladdin?"

"Seeing as I'm not a pederast—"

"You couldn't be a pederast."

"Well, I'm not, but your confirmation is relieving."

"No, seriously, check out a dictionary. A pederast is a man who has a proclivity for boys. Whereas a pedophile is any adult who has a sexual desire for children."

"Why is it that I'm not disturbed that you know this?" Gabby asked.

Jason laughed. "I'm not sure, but if I were in your position, I think I'd be a lot more disturbed."

Gabby laughed. "You're avoiding the question...again. You have a habit of doing that."

"What was the question?"

"Your three wishes."

"Ah, the first would be for financial security."

"What do you mean by that?" Gabby asked.