To Me

Chapter Two

"Nova.""Jacek." I look him in the eyes. Blaise has stopped, and so have the kids. Maddock gets behind me while Ariella gets behind Blaise. Jacek looks around, and I see him clench his jaw. "You've got to be kidding me." Jacek pauses, "you slept with someone else as soon as we broke up?" He throws his hands in the air, laughing dryly. "Blaise, will you please take the kids to Rasia's?" He looks at me, silently telling me to be careful while nodding and picking the kids up. I take a deep breath, "no," I say to him calmly."You don't get to do that. Not when you walked away. Those kids," I pause as I seethe at him, "are yours, I do not have to explain myself to you or anyone else, and I won't." Jacek looks at me, shocked, opening his mouth but not saying anything. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to class." I hold my head high while walking away from Jacek. I unlock my car and get in. I take a deep breath, letting my nerves settle. With the key in my hand, I put it in the ignition and start the car; I plug my phone in and let the music play. I look in the mirror, seeing Jacek watch me through it. An angry expression takes over his face; I pull out of my spot and head to school.After I finish my two classes of the day, I head to Raisa's to get Maddock and Ariella. I pull into the spot in front of her house, get out, and walk to the door. I knock lightly, hoping that Jacek isn't around since his family lives in this neighborhood. The squeak of the door catches my attention, and I turn my head back to the door. "Hi, Nova!" I hear Rasia say. I put on a fake smile and hugged her, "thank you so, so much, Rasia." I tell her with as happy of a voice as I can manage. She opens the door further to let me in, "they're currently having an afternoon snack." I nod and follow her to the kitchen; the kids see me and smile, then finish their snacks.I talk to Rasia while the kids finish and get ready to leave. The kids run into the living room together a few minutes later and shout, "MOMMY!" I smile and laugh as they jump on me. "Hi, my sweets, how was your day with Miss. Rasia?" They start to giggle and tell me all about it. After five minutes of rambling about their day, they're ready to go. "Thank you again, Rasia; I appreciate everything you do." She smiles and hugs me, then the kids and I head to the car. Maddock asks me, "Mommy, who was that man today?" I knew it was coming, and I didn't want to tell them yet, but I couldn't keep him from them. I walk around and get in the driver's seat before answering him. "That was your dad." Both look at me in shock, "really?" Ariella asks. I nod, "if you want to meet him, you can." They both shake their heads. We're already in the neighborhood, so I figure now is a better time than ever, so I head to the Petrov's a few streets over and park in front of their house. I take a deep breath and get out of the car. I help the kids out, and they run to the front door. I walk up behind them and knock on the door. Janey opens the door and sees me first, "Baba!" The kids yelp excitedly. She leans down and hugs them. Inviting us in and giving me a confused look. The kids run to their room that is here so they can play. "You know he's here, right?" I nod and tell her what happened this morning and that the kids want to meet him. "Well, he should be done with work at any minute and come out of that office." I nod, and we go upstairs with the kids. I hear Aleksy talking from the office and hear Jacek's voice when we pass. "Dad, they're my kids. Why wouldn't you guys tell me?" I hear Aleksy laugh, "it's not like you would care for them or would have stayed for them." I listen to him respond. "DAD!" He shouts, "I would have stayed; I loved her, still love her." I scoff and walk away into the bedroom. I sit and talk with Janey as the kids play.Thirty minutes pass, and I hear the office door open and shut. Aleksy comes into the room and sits on the floor with the kids, playing with them. He gives me a smile, the best he can, with how sick he is. "Hi dear, how are you today?" He asks in a thick Russian accent. "I'm okay; I ran into Jacek while with the kids this morning." He nods, "he told me; I'm sorry you had to find out he was back this way." I tell him it's okay and that the kids want to meet him. "He should be done any minute now," he says when we hear the office door open and shut. "Jacek," his father calls him, "please come in here." I hear his footsteps and take a deep breath. Janey grabs my hand and gives me a calming smile. "Yes, father?" His voice echoes as he enters the room. He steps in and sees the kids, then me. This makes him stand still. "Hi." I hear Ariella say as she steps up to him. He starts tearing up, and I am shocked. I've never seen him cry. Jacek kneels down and touches Ariella's hair. "Hi sweetie, I'm Jacek." He says softly to her. "You're my daddy, right?" He nods, and she hugs him, "I missed you." She says, I start crying, and Maddock comes over to me. "Momma," I hear him whisper, and I look down at him with a soft smile on my face. He hugs me tight and looks meanly at Jacek and Ariella. He starts to shake in my arms and breaks free. He runs to Jacek and starts to hit his shoulder.Jacek is confused and gently stops him. "Son," Jacek says and pauses, "what's wrong?" Maddock cries, "you hurt momma, you hurt her bad." Jacek looks up at me, and I have tears in my eyes, and so does he. He looks back down at Maddock and holds his hands, "Maddock, bud. I hate that I hurt your mother. I was not smart and was not a kind person. The last thing I want to do is hurt you guys, your mom, or any of the people I love." I hear Janey gasp, and she touches my hand gently. I shake my head to keep my mouth shut. Knowing that if he was a man of his word, he wouldn't have left me in the first place. I tell Janey that the kids can spend the night here if she is okay with it, and they are also, so they can spend more time with Jacek. She nods and asks the kids, and they agree, wanting to get to know their father. I smile and hug them bye and tell them I love them. I walk down the stairs, and I'm almost at the door when someone grabs my wrist. I turn and see that it's Jacek; I let out a deep sigh. "Yes?" I say with annoyance in my voice. He clears his throat, "I'm sorry." He takes a deep breath, "I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have been so weak and let my friends' opinions get to me. I was weak and let others influence what I wanted, what I needed. I was foolish, and I'm so sorry." His voice catches in his throat at the end of his confession. I look up so I won't cry. "You left me... When I needed you most, you left me. You told me I was nothing but a fuck to you. You made me believe I was worthless, Jacek. I thought that my kids were never going to have a father. Do you know how much it hurts? How much I wanted you to be beside me while birthing those beautiful children? So badly, everyone thought I was crying because of the physical pain... But I wasn't. I was crying because, more than anyone, I wanted you there. I needed you. I tried. I tried to tell you that night, but I figured if you were going to leave me that easily when I had given you all of me, what would stop you from leaving these babies so easily?" I finish with a sob. Jacek grabs my face in his hands, "I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back and take it all back." I look into his eyes and bite my lip to keep sobbing anymore. He wipes the tears from under my eyes, and I notice he looks from my eyes to my lips and back multiple times. I know what's about to happen, and I don't know if I want to stop it or not. He tilts my head up and then leans down, kissing me gently but hard. I stay there for a second, not moving. I then start kissing him back, wanting him closer, missing him from the four years I didn't see him, hear his voice, touch his skin, or get to smell his scent. I kiss him like it's the last kiss we will ever have because it might be. I want him, not just a kiss. I want all of him. The good days, the bad days, the anger, the happiness, the sadness, and even the pain. I need his skin against mine. I need to wake up next to him and go to bed next to him. To have family dinners with me, him, and our kids. That's all I truly want out of this life I've been lucky enough to receive.