To Me

Chapter Three

I sit in bed, biting my nails, thinking about Jacek and that kiss. About what he said about still loving me. I don't know if I still love him or not. I can't decipher love from lust right now. I grab my phone, dancing around Jacek's number. I debate for 10 minutes whether to text him or not. I press his number and start typing.

Come over

He responds almost immediately.

Send me an address

I send him my address and hurriedly go to the bathroom to freshen up. I luckily have stayed caught up on the shaving aspect of it. I take a quick shower and put on red lacey lingerie. It was his favorite when we were together. I filled it out more now, though. It's what I wore on the last night we were together. I was two months pregnant at that point. I had just found out that morning and didn't want to tell him yet. As I reminisce, I hear a knock at the door. I rush and put on an oversized t-shirt. I then go and unlock the door and look up at Jacek. It's raining out, and I didn't even know. I step to the side and let him in, he's soaked, and I feel bad.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize it was raining." He shakes his head and chuckles, "it's fine, Nova. I would've come either way." I look at him quizzically, "why?" He looks at me seriously, "because I would do anything just to have you in my arms again." I bite my lip and look up at him, nodding. "I want to be in your arms again," and he grabs me firmly and pulls me in his arms. "You still have my shirts," he whispers in my ear. I pulled back and looked down, realizing I had put one of his shirts I still had. I let out a breathy laugh, "I didn't even realize that I had it on." "Why did you keep it? It's all tattered and worn, meaning you've worn it a lot." I nodded, "through the pregnancy and a little after was when I wore it. It's been in the bottom of my drawer for about a year now." He nods and takes my cheeks in his hands, looking deep into my eyes. "You're lying, but I won't ask. I know it's not any of my business." I silently thank him. "Would you like something to drink?" I ask him, now fully taking him in and noticing what he's wearing. A pair of blue jeans fit snugly around his butt and thighs, and a black fitted tee. The sleeves show his muscles off, and I'm still as obsessed with his arms and shoulders as I was then. I bite my lip, accidentally overpouring the water. He laughs and walks toward me. I back up to the other counter as he comes closer. He traps me between his chest and the counter.

He then moves his face to the side of my neck, rubbing his nose towards my ear. His breath is light and drives me crazy. "You can't keep looking at me like that unless you want me to rip your clothes off and take you right here." I bite my lip again as he pulls his face back to look at me. He groans, the sound coming from deep inside his chest. He gently but firmly grabs the back of my neck, pulling my face close to his.

"I'm going to fuck you like there's no tomorrow." I let out a breathy moan, looking at him and silently begging for him. He kisses me firmly and lifts me onto the counter. I wrap my legs around his hips, bringing him even closer than he already was. His hands go under my shirt, his shirt, and grab my hips, rocking me into his hips. I whimper into his mouth, "more, please," I beg him. He feels around my hips and pulls back. "You didn't," he pulls back in shock. I nod, "I did. Is there something wrong with it?" He shakes his head "absolutely fucking not. I can't believe you still have it." I giggle and move his hands up under the shirt, and he takes it from there. He grabs my breasts, palming them and then pinching my nipples through the lace. I moan, gripping the hair at the nape of his neck. I start to overthink, and then I start to hyperventilate.

I can't do this; I can't do this without thinking that I'm going to get knocked up and left alone again. I don't want to be alone with a newborn and nobody to take care of me again.

"J-Jacek, s-stop," I say, and he pulls back immediately. He looks at me frantically, "what's wrong?"